“I have numberless other letters,” continued Moon, “all bearing witness
to this widespread feeling about my eminent friend; and I therefore
think that Dr. Pym should have admitted this side of the question in
his survey. We are in the presence, as Dr. Pym so truly says, of a
natural force. As soon stay the cataract of the London water-works as
stay the great tendency of Dr. Warner to be assassinated by somebody.
Place that man in a Quakers’ meeting, among the most peaceful of
Christians, and he will immediately be beaten to death with sticks of
chocolate. Place him among the angels of the New Jerusalem, and he will
be stoned to death with precious stones. Circumstances may be beautiful
and wonderful, the average may be heart-upholding, the harvester may be
golden-bearded, the doctor may be secret-guessing, the cataract may be
iris-leapt, the Anglo-Saxon infant may be brave-browed, but against and
above all these prodigies the grand simple tendency of Dr. Warner to
get murdered will still pursue its way until it happily and
triumphantly succeeds at last.”
He pronounced this peroration with an appearance of strong emotion. But
even stronger emotions were manifesting themselves on the other side of
the table. Dr. Warner had leaned his large body quite across the little
figure of Moses Gould and was talking in excited whispers to Dr. Pym.
That expert nodded a great many times and finally started to his feet
with a sincere expression of sternness.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he cried indignantly, “as my colleague has
said, we should be delighted to give any latitude to the defence—if
there were a defence. But Mr. Moon seems to think he is there to make
jokes— very good jokes I dare say, but not at all adapted to assist his
client. He picks holes in science. He picks holes in my client’s social
popularity. He picks holes in my literary style, which doesn’t seem to
suit his high-toned European taste. But how does this picking of holes
affect the issue? This Smith has picked two holes in my client’s hat,
and with an inch better aim would have picked two holes in his head.
All the jokes in the world won’t unpick those holes or be any use for
the defence.”
Inglewood looked down in some embarrassment, as if shaken by the
evident fairness of this, but Moon still gazed at his opponent in a
dreamy way. “The defence?” he said vaguely—“oh, I haven’t begun that
yet.”
“You certainly have not,” said Pym warmly, amid a murmur of applause
from his side, which the other side found it impossible to answer.
“Perhaps, if you have any defence, which has been doubtful from the
very beginning—”
“While you’re standing up,” said Moon, in the same almost sleepy style,
“perhaps I might ask you a question.”
“A question? Certainly,” said Pym stiffly. “It was distinctly arranged
between us that as we could not cross-examine the witnesses, we might
vicariously cross-examine each other. We are in a position to invite
all such inquiry.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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