"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine the
object of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast looks until
she explained herself. At first, her embarrassment was equal to mine;
but, seeing that I was not disposed to break silence, she raised her
hand to her eyes to conceal a starting tear, and then, in a timid tone,
said that she well knew she had justly earned my abhorrence by her
infidelity; but that if I had ever really felt any love for her, there
was not much kindness in allowing two long years to pass without
enquiring after her, and as little now in seeing her in the state of
mental distress in which she was, without condescending to bestow upon
her a single word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelings
were as I listened to this reproof.
"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half turned
aside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I several
times commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At length I made
an effort, and in a tone of poignant grief exclaimed: 'Perfidious
Manon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' She had no wish, she repeated
with a flood of tears, to attempt to justify her infidelity. 'What is
your wish, then?' cried I. 'I wish to die,' she answered, 'if you will
not give me back that heart, without which it is impossible to endure
life.' 'Take my life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vain
endeavouring to restrain my tears; 'take my life also! it is the sole
sacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has never ceased to
be thine.'
"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport of joy,
and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a thousand caresses.
She addressed me by all the endearing appellations with which love
supplies his votaries, to enable them to express the most passionate
fondness. I still answered with affected coldness; but the sudden
transition from a state of quietude, such as that I had up to this
moment enjoyed, to the agitation and tumult which were now kindled in
my breast and tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind of
horror, and impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergo
some great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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