"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed become
our constant habit. The servant-maid who on such occasions remained
alone at Chaillot, came early the next morning to inform me that our
house had taken fire in the night, and that the flames had been
extinguished with great difficulty. I asked whether the furniture had
suffered. She answered, that there had been such confusion, owing to
the multitude of strangers who came to offer assistance, that she could
hardly ascertain what damage had been done. I was principally uneasy
about our money, which had been locked up in a little box. I went off
in haste to Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared!
"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. This
loss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of my mind. I
saw at one glance to what new calamities I should be exposed: poverty
was the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; I had already had
abundant proof that, although faithful and attached to me under happier
circumstances, she could not be depended upon in want: pleasure and
plenty she loved too well to sacrifice them for my sake. 'I shall lose
her!' I cried; 'miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose all
that you love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degree
that I actually for some moments considered whether it would not be
best for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I however
preserved presence of mind enough to reflect whether I was entirely
without resource, and an idea occurred to me which quieted my despair.
It would not be impossible, I thought, to conceal our loss from Manon;
and I might perhaps discover some ways and means of supplying her, so
as to ward off the inconveniences of poverty.
"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twenty
thousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that these ten
years had now elapsed, and that none of the events which I had looked
for in my family had occurred. What then would have been my course? I
hardly know; but whatever I should then have done, why may I not do
now? How many are there in Paris, who have neither my talents, nor the
natural advantages I possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe their
support to the exercise of their talents, such as they are?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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