"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to be at
the appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I certainly felt
some shame at encountering a friend whose presence alone ought to be a
reproach to my iniquities; but I was supported by the opinion I had of
the goodness of his heart, as well as by my anxiety about Manon.
"I had begged of him to meet me in the garden of the Palais Royal. He
was there before me. He hastened towards me, the moment he saw me
approach and shook me warmly by both hands. I said that I could not
help feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, and that I was weighed down
by a sense of my ingratitude; that the first thing I implored of him
was to tell me whether I might still consider him my friend, after
having so justly incurred the loss of his esteem and affection. He
replied, in the kindest possible manner, that it was not in the nature
of things to destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or,
if he might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had but
increased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess his
affection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest sorrow,
such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a beloved object on
the brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his assistance.
"We sat down upon a bench. 'Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, 'your
compassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you assure me it
is equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to recount them, for I
confess they have been brought on by no very creditable course of
conduct: the results, however, are so truly melancholy, that a friend
even less attached than you would be affected by the recital.'
"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, without
any disguise, all that had occurred to me since my departure from St.
Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from concealing anything, or
attempting to extenuate my faults, I spoke of my passion with all the
ardour with which it still inspired me. I represented it to him as one
of those especial visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victim
to his ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist,
as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most vivid
colours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in which I had
been two hours before I saw him, and into which I should be again
plunged, if I found my friends as relentless as fate had been. I at
length made such an impression upon poor Tiberge, that I saw he was as
much affected by compassion, as I by the recollection of my sufferings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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