"The governor appeared. He had been informed of my apprehension. He
saluted me with great mildness. 'Do not, my good sir,' said I to him,
'allow me to be treated with indignity. I would suffer a hundred deaths
rather than quietly submit to degrading treatment.' 'No, no,' he
replied, 'you will act quietly and prudently, and we shall be mutually
content with each other.' He begged of me to ascend to one of the
highest rooms; I followed him without a murmur. The archers
accompanied us to the door, and the governor, entering the room, made a
sign for them to depart. 'I am your prisoner, I suppose?' said I;
'well, what do you intend to do with me?' He said, he was delighted to
see me adopt so reasonable a tone; that it would be his duty to
endeavour to inspire me with a taste for virtue and religion, and mine
to profit by his exhortations and advice: that lightly as I might be
disposed to rate his attentions to me, I should find nothing but
enjoyment in my solitude. 'Ah, enjoyment, indeed!' replied I; 'you do
not know, my good sir, the only thing on earth that could afford me
enjoyment.' 'I know it,' said he, 'but I trust your inclinations will
change.' His answer showed that he had heard of my adventures, and
perhaps of my name. I begged to know if such were the fact. He told
me candidly that they had informed him of every particular.
"This blow was the severest of any I had yet experienced. I literally
shed a torrent of tears, in all the bitterness of unmixed despair; I
could not reconcile myself to the humiliation which would make me a
proverb to all my acquaintances, and the disgrace of my family. I
passed a week in the most profound dejection, without being capable of
gaining any information, or of occupying myself with anything but my
own degradation. The remembrance even of Manon added nothing to my
grief; it only occurred to me as a circumstance that had preceded my
new sorrow; and the sense of shame and confusion was at present the
all-absorbing passion.
"There are few persons who have experienced the force of these special
workings of the mind. The generality of men are only sensible of five
or six passions, in the limited round of which they pass their lives,
and within which all their agitations are confined. Remove them from
the influence of love and hate, pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and
they have no further feeling. But persons of a finer cast can be
affected in a thousand different ways; it would almost seem that they
had more than five senses, and that they are accessible to ideas and
sensations which far exceed the ordinary faculties of human nature;
and, conscious that they possess a capacity which raises them above the
common herd, there is nothing of which they are more jealous. Hence
springs their impatience under contempt and ridicule; and hence it is
that a sense of debasement is perhaps the most violent of all their
emotions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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