The house was silent, too silent. Somewhere, a long way off, there
was the loud ticking of a clock. During the year before, when she had
graduated from the town high school, her father had given her a small
watch. It lay now on a dressing table at the further side of the room.
Its rapid ticking was like some small creature, clad in steel shoes
and running rapidly and with the shoes clicking together. The little
creature was running swiftly along an endless hallway, running with
a kind of mad sharp determination but never getting either nearer or
further away. Into her mind there came a picture of a small imp-like
boy with a wide grinning mouth and with pointed ears that stood
straight up from his head like the ears of a fox terrier. Perhaps the
notion had got into her head from some picture of Puck remembered from
a childhood story book. She was conscious that the sound she heard came
from the watch on the dresser but the picture in her mind stayed. The
imp-like figure stood with his head and body motionless while his legs
worked furiously. He grinned at her and his little steel-clad feet
clicked together.
She tried consciously to relax her body. There were hours to be spent,
lying thus on the bed, before another day came and she would have to
face the problems of the new day. There would be things to face. Her
father would have gone off with a strange woman. When she walked in the
streets people would be looking at her. “That’s his daughter,” they
would be saying. Perhaps, as long as she stayed in town, she could
never again walk along streets unaware that she was being looked at,
but on the other hand, perhaps she would not stay. There was a kind of
exhilaration to be got from thinking of going off to strange places,
perhaps to some large city, where she would always be walking about
among strangers.
She was getting herself into a state and would have to take herself in
hand. There were times, although she was young she had already known
such times, when the mind and body seemed to have nothing at all to do
with each other. One did things with the body, put it into bed, made
it get up and walk about, made the eyes attempt to read pages in some
book, did many kinds of things with the body, while the mind went on
about its own affairs unheeding. It thought of things, fancied all
manner of absurd things, went its own way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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