The house in which one lived was empty. It was an empty house in an
empty street of an empty town. All the people Jane Webster had known,
the young men and women with whom she had lived, with whom she had
walked about on summer evenings, could not be a part of what she was
facing now. Now she was quite alone. Her father had gone away and
her mother had killed herself. There was no one. One walked alone
in darkness. One’s body struck with a soft thump against soft gray
unyielding walls.
The little stone held so firmly in the palm of the hand hurt and hurt.
Before her father had given it to her he had gone to hold it up before
the candle flame. In certain lights its color changed. Yellowish green
lights came and went in it. The yellowish green lights were of the
color of young growing things pushing their way up out of the damp and
cold of frozen grounds, in the spring.
III
Jane Webster was lying on the bed in the darkness of her room and
crying. Her shoulders shook with sobs but she made no sound. Her
finger, that had been pressed down so hard against her palms, had
relaxed, but there was a spot, in the palm of her right hand, that
burned with a warm feverishness. Her mind had become passive now. Fancy
had released her from its grip. She was like a fretful and hungry child
that has been fed and that lies quietly with its face turned to a white
wall.
Her sobbing now indicated nothing. It was a release. She was a little
ashamed of her lack of control over herself and kept putting up the
hand, that held the stone, first closing it carefully that the precious
stone be not lost, and with her fist wiping the tears away. What she
wished, at the moment, was that she could become suddenly a strong
resolute woman, able to handle quietly and firmly the situation that
had arisen in the Webster household.
IV
The servant Katherine was coming up the stairs. After all she was
not the woman with whom Jane’s father was going away. How heavy and
resolute Katherine’s footsteps were! One could be resolute and strong
when one knew nothing of what had been going on in the house. One could
walk thus, as though one were going up the stairs of an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street.
When Katherine put her foot down on one of the steps the house seemed
to shake a little. Well, one could not say the house shook. That would
be stretching things too much. What one was trying to express was just
that Katherine was not very sensitive. She was one who made a direct
frontal attack upon life. Had she been very sensitive she might have
known something of the terrible things going on in the house without
having to wait to be told.
Now Jane’s mind was playing tricks on her again. An absurd sentence
came into her mind.
“Wait until you see the whites of their eyes and then shoot.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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