Perhaps he had outwardly intended nothing of the sort, but with what
devilish certainty he had worked. The woman now sat in a half-darkness
on the floor. Between her and the burning candles was the bed on which
the two others sat, one talking, the other listening. All the floor of
the room, near where she sat was in heavy black shadows. She had put
one hand out against the door-frame to help support herself.
The candles on their high place flickered as they burned. The light
fell only on her shoulders, her head, and her upraised arm and hand.
She was almost submerged in a sea of darkness. Now and then, from sheer
weariness her head fell forward and there was an effect of sinking
completely into the sea.
Still her arm was upraised and her head came back again to the surface
of the sea. There was a slight rocking movement to her body. She
was like an old boat, half water-logged, lying in the sea. Little
fluttering waves of light seemed playing over her heavy white upraised
face.
Breathing was somewhat difficult. Thinking was somewhat difficult. One
had gone along for years without thinking. It was better to lie quietly
in a sea of silence. The world was quite right in excommunicating
those who disturbed the sea of silence. Mary Webster’s body quivered a
little. One might kill, but had not the strength to kill, did not know
how to kill. Killing was a business one had to learn too.
It was unbearable, but one had at times to think. Things happened. A
woman married a man and then found, quite suddenly, she had not married
him. The world was getting strange unacceptable notions about marriage.
Daughters should not be told such things as her husband was now telling
their daughter. Could the mind of a young virginal girl be raped, by
her own father, into consciousness of unspeakable things in life? If
such things were permitted what would become of all decent orderly
living of lives? Virginal girls should find out nothing about life
until the time came to live the things they must, being women, finally
accept.
* * * * *
In every human body there is a great well of silent thinking always
going on. Outwardly certain words are said, but there are other words
being said at the same time down in the deep hidden places. There is a
deposit of thoughts, of unexpressed emotions. How many things thrown
down into the deep well, hidden away in the deep well!
There is a heavy iron lid clamped over the mouth of the well. When the
lid is safely in place one gets on all right. One goes about saying
words, eating food, meeting people, conducting affairs, accumulating
money, wearing clothes, one lives an ordered life.
Sometimes at night, in dreams, the lid trembles, but no one knows about
that.
Why should there be those who desire to tear the lids off the wells, to
break through the walls? Things had better be left as they are. Those
who disturb the heavy iron lids should be killed.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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