In the strange house she had got into bed to sleep, glad to escape the
annoying question. When she awoke they would have forgotten the whole
matter. Her friend had come into the room with her and she wanted to
dismiss her quickly, to be alone for a time. “I’ll not unpack my bag
now. I think I’ll just undress and crawl in between the sheets. It’s
going to be warm anyway,” she explained. It was absurd. Well she had
looked forward to something quite different on her arrival, laughter,
young men standing about and looking a little self-conscious. Now she
only felt uncomfortable. Why did people keep asking why she had got up
at midnight and taken a slow train instead of waiting until morning?
One wanted sometimes just to be a fool about little things, and not to
have to give explanations. When her friend went out of the room she
threw off all her clothes and got quickly into bed and closed her eyes.
It was another foolish notion she had, her wanting to be naked. Had she
not taken the slow uncomfortable train she would not have had the fancy
about the young man walking beside the train in the fields, through
the streets of towns, through forests.
It was good to be naked sometimes. There was the feel of things against
one’s skin. If one could only have the joyful feeling of that more
often. One could sink into a clean bed, sometimes, when one was tired
and sleepy and it was like getting into the firm warm arms of some one
who could love and understand one’s foolish impulses.
The young woman in the bed slept and in her sleep was again being
carried swiftly along through the darkness. The woman with the cat
and the old man who muttered words did not appear again, but many
other people came and went through her dream-world. There was a swift
tangled march of strange events. She went forward, always forward
toward something she wanted. Now it approached. A great eagerness took
possession of her.
It was strange that she wore no clothes. The young man who walked so
swiftly through fields had reappeared, but she had not noticed before
that he also did not wear clothes.
The world had grown dark. There was a dusky darkness.
And now the young man had stopped going swiftly forward and like
herself was silent. They both hung suspended in a sea of silence. He
was standing and looking directly into her eyes. He could go within her
and come out again. The thought was infinitely sweet.
She lay in a soft warm darkness and her flesh was hot, too hot. “Some
one has foolishly built a fire and has forgotten to open the doors and
windows,” she thought vaguely.
The young man, who was now so close to her, who was standing silently
so close to her and looking directly into her eyes, could make
everything all right. His hands were within a few inches of her body.
In a moment they would touch, bring cool peace into her body, into
herself too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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