There was a sweet peace to be got by looking directly into the young
man’s eyes. They were glowing in the darkness like little pools into
which one could cast oneself. A final and infinite peace and joy could
be got by casting oneself into the pools.
Could one stay thus, lying quietly in the soft warm dark pools? One
had got into a secret place, behind a high wall. Outside voices
cried--“Shame! Shame!” When one listened to the voices the pools became
foul loathsome places. Should one listen to the voices or should one
close the ears, close the eyes? The voices beyond the wall became
louder and louder--crying, “Shame! Be ashamed!” To listen to the voices
brought death. Did closing one’s ears to the voices bring death too?
VII
John Webster was telling a story. There was a thing he himself wanted
to understand. Wanting to understand things was a new passion, come to
him. What a world he had lived in always and how little he had wanted
to understand it. Children were being born in towns and on farms. They
grew up to be men and women. Some of them went to colleges, others,
after a few years in the town or country schools, got out into life,
married perhaps, got jobs in factories or shops, went to church on
Sundays or to a ball game, became parents of children.
People everywhere told things, talked of things they thought interested
them, but no one told truths. At school there was no attention paid
to truth. What a tangle of other and unimportant things. “Two and two
make four. If a merchant sell three oranges and two apples to a man and
oranges are to be sold at twenty-four cents per dozen and apples at
sixteen, how much does the man owe the merchant?”
An important matter indeed. Where is the fellow going with the three
oranges and two apples? He is a small man in brown boots and has his
cap stuck on the side of his head. There is a peculiar smile playing
around his mouth. The sleeve of his coat is torn. What did that? The
cuss is singing a song under his breath. Listen:
“Diddle de di do,
Diddle de di do,
Chinaberries grow on a Chinaberry tree.
Diddle de di do.”
What in the name of the bearded men, who came into the queen’s
bed-chamber when the king of Rome was born, does he mean by that? What
is a Chinaberry tree?
John Webster talked to his daughter, sat with his arm about her
talking, and back of him, and unseen, his wife struggled and fought to
put back into its place the iron lid one should always keep tightly
clamped down on the opening of the well of unexpressed thoughts within
oneself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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