Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Vacations -- Fiction
“If I went out to Central Africa,” he said slowly, “I wonder
whether——”
“These pears are delicious,” she answered, still looking at the table to
her left.
“If I went out to Central Africa——” he said again.
She leant forward and played with the silver in front of her.
“Look here, I want you to listen.” He leant forward towards her so that
he might escape the man with the bald head. “If I went out to Central
Africa, you—well, you wouldn’t much mind, would you? Things would be
very much the same. It’s rather comforting to think that you wouldn’t
very much mind.”
Maradick’s hands were shaking, but he spoke quite calmly, and he did not
raise his voice because he did not want the man with the bald head to
hear.
“You wouldn’t mind, would you? Why don’t you say?” Then suddenly
something seemed to turn in his brain, like a little wheel, and it hurt.
“It’s been going on like this for years, and how long do you think I’m
going to stand it? You don’t care at all. I’m just like a chair, a
table, anything. I say it’s got to change—I’ll turn you out—won’t have
anything more to do with you—you’re not a wife at all—a man
expects——” He did not know what he was saying, and he did not really
very much care. He could not be eloquent or dramatic about it like
people were in books, because he wasn’t much of a talker, and there was
that little wheel in his head, and all these people talking. It had all
happened in the very briefest of moments. He hardly realised at the time
at all, but afterwards the impression that he had of it was of his
fingers grating on the table-cloth; they dug into the wood of the table.
For only a moment his fingers seemed, of their own accord, to rise from
the table and stretch out towards her throat. Sheer animal passion held
him, passion born of her placidity and indifference. Then suddenly he
caught her eyes; she was looking at him, staring at him, her face was
very white, and he had never seen anyone look so frightened. And then
all his rage left him and he sat back in his chair again, shaking from
head to foot. There were all those years between them and he had never
said a word until now! Then he felt horribly ashamed of himself; he had
been intolerably rude, to a lady. He wasn’t quite certain of what he had
said.
“I beg your pardon,” he said slowly, “I have been very rude. I didn’t
quite know what I was saying.”
For a moment they were silent. The chatter went on, and the waiter was
standing a little way away; he had not heard anything.
“I am rather tired,” said Mrs. Maradick; “I think I’ll go up, if you
don’t mind.”
He rose and offered her his arm, and they went out together. She did not
look at him, and neither of them spoke.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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