Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Vacations -- Fiction
Maradick sat motionless in his seat. He made no movement, but he was
praying, praying furiously. He was praying to no God that had a name,
but to the powers of all honour, of all charity, of all goodness.
Love was the ultimate test, the test of everything. He knew now, with a
clearness that seemed to dismiss all the shadows that had lingered for
days about him, that he had never loved Mrs. Lester. It was the cry of
sensuality, the call of the beast; it was lust.
“Deliver us from evil.” He said it again and again, his hands clenched,
his eyes staring, gazing at the altar. The powers of evil seemed to be
all about him; he felt that if he did not cling with all his strength to
that prayer, he was lost. The vision of Mrs. Lester returned to him. She
seemed to get between him and the old man at the altar. He tried to look
beyond her, but she was there, appealing, holding out her arms to him.
Then she was nearer to him, quite close, he could feel her breath on his
cheek; and then again, with all the moral force that was in him, he
pushed her away.
Then he seemed to lie for a long time in a strange lassitude. He was
still sitting forward with his hands pressed tightly together, his eyes
fixed on the altar, but his brain seemed to have ceased to work. He had
that sensation of suddenly standing outside and above himself. He saw
Maradick sitting there, he saw the dusky church and the dim gold light
over the altar, and outside the sweep of the plain and the dark plunging
sea; and he was above and beyond it all. He wondered a little that that
man could be so troubled about so small an affair. He wondered and then
pitied him. What a perspective he must have, poor thing, to fancy that
his struggles were of so vast an importance.
He saw him as a baby, a boy, a man—stolid, stupid self-centred,
ignorant. Oh! so dull a soul! such a lump of clay, just filling space as
a wall fills it; but no use, with no share at all in the music that was
on every side of him.
And then, because for an instant the flame has descended upon him and
his eyes have been opened, he rushes at once to take refuge in his body.
He is afraid of his soul, the light of it hurts him, he cowers in his
dark corner groping for his food, wanting his sensuality to be
satisfied; and the little spark that has been kindled is nearly out, in
a moment it will be gone, because he did not know what to do with it,
and the last state of that man is worse than the first.
And slowly he came back to himself. The candles had been extinguished.
The church was quite dark. Only a star shone through the little window
and some late bird was singing. He gathered himself together. It must be
late and he must see Morelli. He stumbled out of the church.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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