Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Vacations -- Fiction
Mr. Maradick was a beast. If he thought that he could just play fast and
loose with women like that, do just what he liked with them, he was
mightily mistaken. She flung down her pen. The room was stifling! She
went to her window and opened it; she leaned out. Ah! how cool and
refreshing the night air was. There was somebody in the distance playing
something. It sounded like a flute or a pipe. How nice and romantic! She
closed the window. After all, where was he? He must be somewhere all
this time. She must speak to him just once before she went away. She
must, even though it were only to tell him . . . Then she remembered
that dusty, empty room upstairs. He had told her that he often went up
there.
And so she came. That was the whole history of it. She hadn’t, when she
came into the room, the very least idea of anything that she was going
to do or say. Only that it was romantic, and that she had an
extraordinarily urgent desire to be crushed once more in those very
strong arms.
“I have taken it very seriously indeed.” He wondered, as he said it to
her, what it was, exactly, that he had taken seriously. The “it” was
very much more than simply Mrs. Lester; he saw that very clearly. She
was only the expression of a kind of mood that he had been in during
these last weeks, a kind of genuine atmosphere that she stood for, just
as some quite simple and commonplace thing—a chair, a picture, a vase
of flowers—sometimes stands for a great experience or emotion. And
then—his head was clearer now; that led him to see further still.
He suddenly grasped that she wasn’t really for him a woman at all, that,
indeed, she never had been. He hadn’t thought of her as the woman, the
personal character and identity that he wanted, but simply as a sort of
emotional climax to the experiences that he had been having; any other
woman, he now suddenly saw, would have done just as well. And then, the
crisis being over, the emotional situation being changed, the woman
would remain; that would be the hell of it!
And that led him—all this in the swift interval before she answered
him—to wonder whether she, too, had been wanting him also, not as a
man, not as James Maradick, but simply as a cap to fit the mood that she
was in: any man would fit as well. If that were the case with her as
well as with him what a future they were spared by his suddenly seeing
as clearly as he did. If that were not so, then the whole thing bristled
with difficulties; but that was what he must set himself to find out,
now, at once.
Then, in her next speech, he saw two things quite clearly—that she was
determined, come what might, to have her way about to-night at any rate,
and to go to any lengths to obtain it. She might not have been
determined when she came into the room, but she was determined now.
She leant forward in her chair towards him, her cheeks were a little
redder, her breath was coming a little faster.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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