Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Feminists -- United States -- Biography; Fuller, Margaret, 1810-1850
This stranger seems to have been as gracious as she was graceful.
Margaret, after this first glimpse, saw her often, sometimes at a
neighbor's house, sometimes at her own. She was more and more impressed
by her personal charm, which was heightened in the child's eyes by her
accomplishments, rare in that time and place. The lady painted in oils
and played on the harp. Margaret found the greatest delight in watching
the growth of her friend's pictures, and in listening to her music.
Better still, they walked together in the quiet of the country. "Like a
guardian spirit, she led me through the fields and groves; and every
tree, every bird, greeted me and said, what I felt, 'She is the first
angel of your life.'"
Delight so passionate led to a corresponding sorrow. The lady, who had
tenderly responded to the child's mute adoration, vanished from her
sight, and was thenceforth known to her only through the interchange of
letters.
"When this friend was withdrawn," says Margaret, "I fell into a profound
depression. Melancholy enfolded me in an atmosphere, as joy had done.
This suffering, too, was out of the gradual and natural course. Those
who are really children could not know such love or feel such sorrow."
Her father saw in this depression a result of the too great isolation in
which Margaret had thus far lived. He felt that she needed change of
scene and, still more, intercourse with girls of her own age. The remedy
proposed was that she should be sent to school,--a measure which she
regarded with dread and dislike. She had hitherto found little pleasure
in the society of other girls. She had sometimes joined the daughters of
her neighbors in hard play, but had not felt herself at home with them.
Her retired and studious life had, she says, given her "a cold
aloofness," which could not predispose them in her favor. Despite her
resistance, however, her father persevered in his intention, and
Margaret became an inmate of the Misses Prescott's school in Groton,
Mass.
Her experience here, though painful in some respects, had an important
effect upon her after life.
At first her unlikeness to her companions was uncomfortable both to her
and to them. Her exuberant fancy demanded outlets which the restraints
of boarding-school life would not allow. The unwonted excitement
produced by contact with other young people vented itself in fantastic
acts, and freaks amusing but tormenting. The art of living with one's
kind had not formed a part of Margaret's home education. Her nervous
system had already, no doubt, been seriously disturbed by overwork.
Some plays were devised for the amusement of the pupils, and in these
Margaret found herself entirely at home. In each of these the principal
part was naturally assigned her, and the superiority in which she
delighted was thus recognized. These very triumphs, however, in the end
led to her first severe mortification, and on this wise:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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