England -- Fiction; Love stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Quakers -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
Roden as he walked home did think more of the little affair than it
deserved,--more at least than he would acknowledge that it deserved.
He was angry with himself for bearing it in mind, and yet he did bear
it in mind. Could it be that a creature so insignificant as Crocker
could annoy him by a mere word or two? But he was annoyed, and did
not know how such annoyance could be made to cease. If the man would
continue to talk about Lord Hampstead there was nothing by which he
could be made to hold his tongue. He could not be kicked, or beaten,
or turned out of the room. For any purpose of real assistance Mr.
Jerningham was useless. As to complaining to the Æolus of the office
that a certain clerk would talk about Lord Hampstead, that of course
was out of the question. He had already used strong language, calling
the man vulgar and ungentlemanlike, but if a man does not regard
strong language what further can an angry victim do to him?
Then his thoughts passed on to his connexion with the Marquis of
Kingsbury's family generally. Had he not done wrong, at any rate,
done foolishly, in thus moving himself out of his own sphere? At
the present moment Lady Frances was nearer to him even than Lord
Hampstead,--was more important to him and more in his thoughts.
Was it not certain that he would give rise to misery rather than to
happiness by what had occurred between him and Lady Frances? Was it
not probable that he had embittered for her all the life of the lady
whom he loved? He had assumed an assured face and a confident smile
while declaring to his mother that no power on earth should stand
between him and his promised wife,--that she would be able to walk
out from her father's hall and marry him as certainly as might the
housemaid or the ploughman's daughter go to her lover. But what would
be achieved by that if she were to walk out only to encounter misery?
The country was so constituted that he and these Traffords were in
truth of a different race; as much so as the negro is different from
the white man. The Post Office clerk may, indeed, possibly become a
Duke; whereas the negro's skin cannot be washed white. But while he
and Lady Frances were as they were, the distance between them was so
great that no approach could be made between them without disruption.
The world might be wrong in this. To his thinking the world was
wrong. But while the facts existed they were too strong to be set
aside. He could do his duty to the world by struggling to propagate
his own opinions, so that the distance might be a little lessened
in his own time. He was sure that the distance was being lessened,
and with this he thought that he ought to have been contented. The
jeering of such a one as Crocker was unimportant though disagreeable,
but it sufficed to show the feeling. Such a friendship as his with
Lord Hampstead had appeared to Crocker to be ridiculous. Crocker
would not have seen the absurdity unless others had seen it also.
Even his own mother saw it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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