Since I have studied carefully the events which followed rapidly from
the beginning of our acquaintance, I am certain that neither Marjorie
nor myself would have received the slightest notice from either Mrs.
Sanderson or her son, had we failed in their selfish entertainment. My
little girl, beautiful and bright, unconsciously stole into the coldest
hearts; but I know now that it was not her delicate frame, nor the
pathos of a defrauded childhood that won the devotion of Mrs. Sanderson.
It was simply that Marjorie was an additional amusement, an additional
effect, enlivening the small court which the lady invariably held. The
capricious woman petted the child only for entertainment. A
thoroughbred dog, or a kitten, could have won her interest as
successfully, had her passing mood been favorable to their antics. Her
fancy for myself was equally selfish. I was young enough to interest her
son, and from the first she evidently regarded me as a convenient and
suitable companion for the winter. I learned afterwards that Mrs.
Sanderson was notoriously fond of young widows. She treated them with
unusual favor in view of eventual schemes which she generally worked.
Her only idea of life was entertainment, and, in order to satisfy her
thirst for novelty, she had always chosen pretty widows to expand her
power and promote her individual caprices. Unincumbered by the
unreasonable demands of a husband, she regarded a pathetic young widow a
most desirable companion; always securing, if possible, a fresh one for
the nucleus of her social experiments.
Why I should have submitted to this woman's patronage, I can not
understand. My only excuse is the recollection of an unsuspicious joy,
that came like new life into my soul. Marjorie was getting well! and
there was no one who understood my happiness like Mrs. Sanderson. It
never occurred to me to doubt her sincerity. That she was often haughty
and disagreeable to others I saw, but for me she had only indulgence and
delicate sympathy. Under calming climatic influences my pagan intuitions
grew hourly. Beneath the lights and shadows of the prophetic mountains,
analytical tendencies ceased. Possibly my creeds became unorthodox, but
they expanded cheerfully each day, that they might hold more of God's
harmonious universe and less of man's deformity.
I believed afresh in universal philanthropy. The sweet lethargic days
were satisfying; I had no desire to analyze the motives of my
associates.
I was no longer interested in attenuated studies of character. The Book
of Nature, and the literal tales of "Mother Goose" now constituted my
library. For the present, the Wise Men of Athens were no wiser than the
man who so successfully evaded the consequences of the "bramble bush."
Now that my child had been given back to me, no unnecessary suspicions
disturbed my credulous content. I had been tired so long, that to rest,
at last, necessarily developed passive conditions over which I had but
languid control.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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