As well in that way, and better than in another he was prone to; and
unfortunately, he was getting rather too much on his hands, just then,
of the article he deemed so precious. For Keene, the hatchet-faced
homoeopath, had relieved the doctor of a vast deal of practice, and left
him with overmuch unemployed time on his hands. Dr. Wattletop explained
the increasing popularity of the heterodox practitioner in this wise:
"The infernal quack seduces the children with his sugar-plums, and the
mothers are silly enough to yield to their preferences; once introduced
in the family, of course it is pleasanter, if one needs physic, to
appease the conscience with a make-believe medicine than to take a
bitter though wholesome remedy. How are you to meet this folly and
weakness? Between these sugar-plums, and water-drenching, and
clairvoyant cures, the profession, I say, is going to the devil--yes,
sir, going to the devil! Come, Dagon, let's be off, old boy;" and with
his dog jogging beside him he would betake himself to a walk, which,
after a circuit of a mile or so, invariably terminated not to the
infernal regions, as one would naturally infer, but to what the Belton
"Band of Hope" would have designated as half way to it, viz.: "The
Shades." This was a little tavern at the far end of the town, kept by an
Englishman, and frequented solely by "old-country" people (of whom there
were many among the mill-hands), who resorted thither to indulge in
Welsh rarebits and old ale. You ascended a few steps, pushed open a
swing-door, and found yourself facing a little bar attached to a small
quiet room with a sanded floor. There were wire screens in the windows
on the street, and the walls were ornamented with fine engravings of the
All England Eleven, the Cambridgeshire Hunt, and portraits of Nelson,
Wellington, and Queen Victoria. The host was a "Brummagem" man,
suspected, from his blunted nose, of having been a pugilist, but as he
was a surly man of uncommunicative disposition, the suspicion had never
been verified. There were a half-dozen tables in the room, and at a
particular one in a corner Dr. Wattletop took his place, and Dagon his
(beneath the table), with undeviating method, about three days in the
week, unless prevented by professional duties. Mutely, then, the
blunt-nosed man brought a beaker of gin and sugar, and the _Albion_, or
_Illustrated London News_ to the doctor, who in silence consumed the gin
and perused the paper, his interest in the latter centring in the
"Gazette," whose announcement that Major Pipeclay was promoted, vice
Colonel Sabretasche retired, or that the ----th Foot were ordered to
Bermuda, or that some old chum had gone to his long home, recalled
recollections of by-gone days, and furnished food for reflection. After
the third beaker he laid aside the paper, and was now become intensely
grave and imposing, sitting bolt upright with his cane between his
knees, and gazing in a very uncompromising way into vacancy. The scot
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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