particularly at ease if he had to leave his wife with David. David
certainly ought to have got beyond all that kind of thing, considering it
must be over 3000 years since he first saw Bathsheba; but we are told
that the saints are for ever young in heaven, and this treacherous
villain, who would have been tried by a jury of twelve men and hung
outside Newgate if he had lived in the nineteenth century, might be
dangerous now. He was an amorous old gentleman up to the very last.
(Roars of laughter.) Nor did the speaker feel particularly anxious to be
shut up with all the bishops, who of course are amongst the elect, and on
their departure from this vale of tears tempered by ten thousand a year,
are duly supplied with wings. Much more followed in the same strain upon
the immorality of the Bible heroes, their cruelty, and the cruelty of the
God who sanctioned it. Then followed a clever exposition of the
inconsistencies of the Old Testament history, the impossibility of any
reference to Jesus therein, and a really earnest protest against the
quibbling by which those who believed in the Bible as a revelation sought
to reconcile it with science. “Finally,” said the speaker, “I am sure we
all of us will pass a vote of thanks to our reverend friend for coming to
see us, and we cordially invite him to come again. If I might be allowed
to offer a suggestion, it would be that he should make himself acquainted
with our case before he pays us another visit, and not suppose that we
are to be persuaded with the rhetoric which may do very well for the
young women of his congregation, but won’t go down here.” This was fair
and just, for the eminent Christian was nothing but an ordinary minister,
who, when he was prepared for his profession, had never been allowed to
see what are the historical difficulties of Christianity, lest he should
be overcome by them. On the other hand, his sceptical opponents were
almost devoid of the faculty for appreciating the great remains of
antiquity, and would probably have considered the machinery of the
Prometheus Bound or of the Iliad a sufficient reason for a sneer. That
they should spend their time in picking the Bible to pieces when there
was so much positive work for them to do, seemed to me as melancholy as
if they had spent themselves upon theology. To waste a Sunday morning in
ridiculing such stories as that of Jonah was surely as imbecile as to
waste it in proving their verbal veracity.
CHAPTER II
M’KAY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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