Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for ReformBesant, Annie
Philosophy
Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for Reform
Besant, Annie
Marriage -- Great Britain; Marriage law -- Great Britain
"If children's welfare is concerned, and that they will be injured by
a separation, the case is different. Those who impart existence to
sentient beings are, in my view, responsible to them for as much
happiness as it is in their power to bestow. The parent voluntarily
assumes this greatest of responsibilities; and he who, having so
assumed it, trifles with his child's best interests for his own selfish
gratification, is, in my eyes, utterly devoid of moral principle; or, at
the least, utterly blind to the most sacred duty which a human being
can be called to perform. If, therefore, the well-being and future
prosperity of the children are to be sacrificed by a separation of
the parents, then I would positively object to the separation, however
grievous the evil effects of a continued connection might be to the
dissentient couple.
"Whether the welfare of children is ever promoted by the continuation
of an ill-assorted union, is another question; as also in what way they
ought to be provided for, where a separation actually takes place.
"But to regard, for the moment, the case of the adults alone. You will
remark, that it is no question for us to determine whether it is better
or more proper that affection, once conceived, should last through life.
We might as well sit down to decree whether the sun should shine or be
hid under a cloud, or whether the wind should blow a storm or a gentle
breeze. We may rejoice when it does so last, and grieve when it does
not; but as to legislating about the matter, it is the idlest of
absurdities.
"But we _can_ determine by law the matter of living together. We may
compel a man and woman, though they hate each other as cordially as any
of Byron's heroes, to have one common name, one common interest, and
(nominally) one common bed and board. We may invest them with the legal
appearance of the closest friends while they are the bitterest enemies.
It seems to me that mankind have seldom considered what are the actual
advantages of such a proceeding to the individuals and to society. I
confess that I do not see what is gained in so unfortunate a situation,
by keeping up the appearance when the reality is gone.
"I do see the necessity, in such a case, if the man and woman separate,
of dividing what property they may possess equally between them; and
(while the present monopoly of profitable occupations by men lasts)
I also see the expediency, in case the property so divided be not
sufficient for the woman's comfortable support, of causing the man to
continue to contribute a fair proportion of his earnings towards it. I
also see the impropriety, as I said before, that the children, if any
there be, should suffer. But I cannot see who is the gainer by obliging
two persons to continue in each other's society, when heart-burnings,
bickerings, and other vicious results, are to be the consequence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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