Another exercise for individual couples is "positive interaction." A very simple device, it is usually highly effective and often deeply moving. For this reason we often make it the last activity on Saturday evening. It can either be carried out by about three volunteer couples, or all couples may agree to take turns. The couple sit facing each other, holding hands, and are asked to tell each other, simply and directly, what they specially like about each other, being as specific as possible. Surprisingly, it turns out that very few couples have ever done this before, and everyone finds it a heartwarming experience. We think we have encountered here another taboo in our society--married couples spend infinitely more time telling each other what they _don't_ like about each other than what they _do_ like. Most of us have a strangely inhibited self-consciousness about spelling out in detail what we mean by "I love you." We generally conclude the retreat with a short session of perhaps half an hour in which we share with each other new insights and the rewarding experiences we have had together. This may appropriately be followed by a Quaker meeting for worship. These exercises are no more than illustrations. Leading couples are inventing new ones all the time, and there seems to be no limit to their ingenuity. The books by Herbert Otto and Gerald Smith, listed in the bibliography, are full of good ideas. In essence, these were the experiences in which we and our nine trainee couples were involved during the crowded hours we spent together at Pendle Hill. Before they took their departure, we enjoined them not to try to repeat anything we had done unless they could do so entirely naturally and comfortably. They would develop their own patterns of leadership, and these would be more effective than anything we had taught them. EVALUATION AND REAFFIRMATION The follow-up retreat at Pendle Hill was much more than a reunion or season of rejoicing. We undertook together an intensive evaluation of what had been experienced. One couple, for example, had had to cope with a marriage in serious conflict so we set up a role-playing re-enactment of the situation to serve as a learning experience for the whole group. We also tried to pool our ideas about the best way to plan and lead marriage enrichment retreats. Our agenda covered the following areas: _Organizing the Retreat._ Time, place, cost, recruitment of couples, size of group, preparatory materials. _Methods and Techniques._ Introductions, agenda, directing discussion, dividing up, special exercises, crisis situations, evaluation. _Leadership Roles._ Qualifications, goals, training, couple teamwork, preparation, vulnerability, follow-up. _Future Plans._ Further retreats, training new leaders, cooperation with other groups, books and materials.