Produced by David Widger
MARRIAGE
IN FREE SOCIETY:
By Edward Carpenter
1894
MARRIAGE
I.
OF the great mystery of human Love, and that most intimate personal
relation of two souls to each other--perhaps the firmest, most basic
and indissoluble fact (after our own existence) that we know; of
that strange sense--often, perhaps generally, instantaneous--of long
precedent familiarity and kinship, that deep reliance on and acceptation
of another in his or her entirety; of the tremendous strength of the
chain which thus at times will bind two hearts in lifelong dedication
and devotion, persuading and indeed not seldom compelling the persons
concerned to the sacrifice of some of the other elements of their lives
and characters; and, withal, of a certain inscrutable veiledness from
each other which so frequently accompanies the relation of the
opposite sexes, and which forms at once the abiding charm, and the
pain--sometimes the tragedy--of their union; of this palpitating winged
living thing, which one may perhaps call the real Marriage--I would say
but little; for indeed it is only fitting or possible to speak of it by
indirect language and suggestion, nor may one venture to rudely drag it
from its sanctuary into the light of the common gaze.
Compared with this, the actual marriage, in its squalid perversity as
we too often have occasion of knowing it, is as the wretched idol of the
savage to the reality which it is supposed to represent; and one seems
to hear the Aristophanic laughter of the gods as they contemplate man's
little clay image of the Heavenly Love--which, cracked in the fire of
daily life, he is fain to bind together with rusty hoops of law, and
parchment bands, lest it should crumble and fall to pieces altogether.
The whole subject, wide as life itself--as Heaven and Hell--eludes
anything like adequate treatment, and we need make no apology for
narrowing down our considerations here to just a few practical
points; and if we cannot navigate upward into the very heart of the
matter--namely, into the causes which make some people love each other
with a true and perfect love, and others unite in obedience to but a
counterfeit passion--yet we may fairly, I imagine, and with profit,
study some of the conditions which give to actual marriage its present
form, or which in the future are likely to provide real affection with a
more satisfactory expression than it has as a rule to-day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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