Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
That there should exist one other person in the world towards
whom all openness of interchange should establish itself, from
whom there should be no concealment; whose body should be as
dear to one, in every part, as one's own; with whom there should
be no sense of Mine or Thine, in property or possession; into
whose mind one's thoughts should naturally flow, as it were to
know themselves and to receive a new illumination; and between
whom and oneself there should be a spontaneous rebound of
sympathy in all the joys and sorrows and experiences of life;
such is perhaps one of the dearest wishes of the soul.--"Love's
Coming of Age."
It may chance that someone into whose hands this book falls may
protest that he or she has never felt the fundamental yearning to
form a part of that trinity which alone is the perfect expression
of humanity. If that is so, it is possible that all unconsciously
he may be suffering from a real malady--sex anæsthesia. This is the
name given to an inherent coldness, which, while it lacks the usual
human impulse of tenderness, is generally quite unconscious of its
lack. It may even be that the reader's departure from the ordinary
ranks of mankind is still more fundamental, in which case, instead
of sitting in judgment on the majority, he will do well to read
some such book as "The Sexual Question" (English translation 1908)
by the famous Professor August Forel, in order that his own nature
may be made known to him. He may then discover to which type of our
widely various humanity he belongs. He need not read my book, for
it is written about, and it is written for, ordinary men and women
who, feeling themselves incomplete, yearn for a union that will have
power not only to make a fuller and richer thing of their own lives,
but which will place them in a position to use their sacred trust as
creators of lives to come.
It has happened many times in human history that individuals have
not only been able to conquer this natural craving for a mate,
but have set up celibacy as a higher ideal. In its most beautiful
expression and sublimest manifestations, the celibate ideal has
proclaimed a world-wide love, in place of the narrower human love of
home and children. Many saints and sages, reformers and dogmatists
have modelled their lives on this ideal. But such individuals cannot
be taken as the standard of the _race_, for they are out of its main
current: they are branches which may flower, but never fruit in a
bodily form.
In this world our spirits not only permeate matter but find their
only expression through its medium. So long as we are human we must
have bodies, and bodies obey chemical and physiological, as well as
spiritual laws.
If our race as a whole set out to pursue an ideal which must
ultimately eliminate bodies altogether, it is clear that very soon
we should find the conditions of our environment so altered that we
could no longer speak of the human race.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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