Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
After inexplicable misunderstanding has continued for some time,
if the man is of at all a jealous nature he will search his wife's
acquaintances for someone whom she may have met, for someone who
may momentarily have diverted her attention. For however hard it is
for the natural man to believe that anyone could step into _his_
shoes, some are ready to seek the explanation of their own ill
success in a rival. On some occasion when her coldness puzzles him
the man is perhaps conscious that his love, his own desires, are as
ardent as they were a few days before; then, knowing so intimately
his own heart, he is sure of the steadiness of its love, and he
feels acutely the romantic passion to which her beauty stirs him; he
remembers perhaps that a few days earlier his ardour had awakened a
response in her; therefore, he reaches what appears to him to be the
infallible logical deduction--that either there must be some rival
or his bride's nature is incomprehensible, contrary, capricious.
Both thoughts to madden.
With capriciousness, man in general has little patience. Caprice
renders his best efforts null and void. Woman's caprice is, or
appears to be, a negation of reason. And as reason is man's most
precious and hard-won faculty, the one which has raised mankind
from the ranks of the brute creation, he cannot bear to see it
apparently flouted.
That his bride should lack logic and sweet reasonableness is a flaw
it hurts him to recognise in her. He has to crush the thought down.
It may then happen that the young man, himself pained and bewildered
at having pained his bride by the very ardour of his affection, may
strive to please her by placing restraint upon himself. He may ask
himself: Do not religious and many kinds of moral teachers preach
restraint to the man? He reads the books written for the guidance of
youth, and finds "restraint," "self-control," in general terms (and
often irrationally) urged in them all. His next step may then be
to curtail the expression of his tender feelings, and to work hard
and late in the evenings instead of kissing his bride's fingers and
coming to her for sweet communion in the dusk.
And then, if he is at all observant, he may be aggrieved and
astonished to find her again wistful or hurt. With the tender
longing to _understand_, which is so profound a characteristic in
all the best of our young men, he begs, implores, or pets her into
telling him some part of the reason for her fresh grievance. He
discovers to his amazement that _this_ time she is hurt because he
had not made those very advances which so recently had repelled her,
and had been with such difficulty repressed by his intellectual
efforts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account