Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
When girls so brought up are married it is a _rape_ for the husband
to insist on his "marital rights" at once. It will be difficult or
impossible for such a bride ever after to experience the joys of
sex-union, for such a beginning must imprint upon her consciousness
the view that the man's animal nature dominates him.
In a magazine I came across a poem which vividly expresses this
peculiarly feminine sorrow:
... To mate with men who have no soul above
Earth grubbing; who, the bridal night, forsooth,
Killed sparks that rise from instinct fires of life,
And left us frozen things, alone to fashion
Our souls to dust, masked with the name of wife--
Long years of youth--love years--the years of passion
Yawning before us. So, shamming to the end,
All shrivelled by the side of him we wed,
Hoping that peace may riper years attend,
Mere odalisques are we--well housed, well fed.
KATHERINE NELSON.
Many men who enter marriage sincerely and tenderly may yet have some
previous experience of bought "love." It is then not unlikely that
they may fall into the error of explaining their wife's experiences
in terms of the reactions of the prostitute. They argue that,
because the prostitute showed physical excitement and pleasure in
union, if the bride or wife does not do so, then she is "cold"
or "under-sexed." They may not realise that often all the bodily
movements which the prostitute makes are studied and simulated
because her client enjoys his climax best when the woman in his arms
simultaneously thrills.
As Forel says ("The Sexual Question," 1908, Engl. trans.): "The
company of prostitutes often renders men incapable of understanding
feminine psychology, for prostitutes are hardly more than automata
trained for the use of male sensuality. When men look among these
for the sexual psychology of woman they find only their own mirror."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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