Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
"Well may Lord Esher say he has never been able to make out what the
phrase 'conjugal rights' means. The origin of the term is now clear,
and a blunder, which was first made, perhaps, by a type-setter in
the early part of the last century, and never exposed until now, has
led to a vast amount of misapprehension. Here, too, is another proof
that Shakespeare was exceedingly familiar with 'legal language.'"
That woman has a rhythmic sex-tide which, if its indications were
obeyed, would ensure not only her enjoyment, but would explode the
myth of her capriciousness, seems not to be suspected. We have
studied the wave-lengths of water, of sound, of light; but when will
the sons and daughters of men study the sex-tide in woman and learn
the laws of her Periodicity of Recurrence of desire?
Chapter IV.
The Fundamental Pulse
The judgments of men concerning women are very rarely matters
of cold scientific observation, but are coloured both by their
own sexual emotions and by their own moral attitude toward the
sexual impulse.... [Men's] Statements about the sexual impulses
of women often tell us less about women than about the persons
who make them.--H. ELLIS.
By the majority of "nice" people woman is supposed to have no
spontaneous sex impulses. By this I do not mean a sentimental
"falling in love," but a physical, a physiological state of
stimulation which arises spontaneously and quite apart from any
particular man. It is in truth the _creative_ impulse, and is an
expression of a high power of vitality. So widespread in our country
is the view that it is only depraved women who have such feelings
(especially before marriage) that most women would rather die than
own that they _do_ at times feel a physical yearning indescribable,
but as profound as hunger for food. Yet many, many women have shown
me the truth of their natures when I have simply and naturally
assumed that of course they feel it--being normal women--and have
asked them only: _When?_ From their replies I have collected facts
which are sufficient to overturn many ready-made theories about
women.
Some of the ridiculous absurdities which go by the name of science
may be illustrated by the statement made by Windscheid in the
Centralblatt für Gynäkologie: "In the normal woman, especially
of the higher social classes, the sexual instinct is acquired,
not inborn; when it is inborn, or awakens by itself, there is
_abnormality_. Since women do not know this instinct before
marriage, they do not miss it when they have no occasion in life to
learn it." (Ellis transl.)
The negation of this view is expressed in the fable of Hera quoted
by Ellen Key. Hera sent Iris to earth to seek out three virtuous and
perfectly chaste maidens who were unsoiled by any dreams of love.
Iris found them, but could not take them back to Olympus, for they
had already been sent for to replace the superannuated Furies in the
infernal regions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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