Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
It is certainly true of women as they have been made by the
inhibitions of modern conditions, that most of them are only fully
awake to the existence of sex after marriage. As we are human
beings, the social, intellectual, spiritual side of the love-choice
have tended to mask the basic physiological aspect of women's
sex-life. To find a woman in whom the currents are not all so
entangled that the whole is inseparable into factors, is not easy,
but I have found that wives (particularly happy wives whose feelings
are not complicated by the stimulus of another love) who have been
separated from their husbands for some months through professional
or business duties--whose husbands, for instance, are abroad--are
the women from whom the best and most definitive evidence of a
fundamental rhythm of feeling can be obtained. Such women, yearning
daily for the tender comradeship and nearness of their husbands,
find, in addition, at particular times, an accession of longing for
the close physical union of the final sex-act. Many such separated
wives feel this; and those I have asked to keep notes of the
dates, have, with remarkable unanimity, told me that these times
came specially just before and some week or so after the close of
menstruation, coming, that is, about every fortnight. It is from
such women that I got the first clue to the knowledge of what I call
the Law of Periodicity of Recurrence of desire in women.
This law it is possible to represent graphically as a curved line; a
succession of crests and hollows as in all wave-lines. Its simplest
and most fundamental expression, however, is generally immensely
complicated by other stimulations which may bring into it diverse
series of waves, or irregular wave-crests. We have all, at some
time, watched the regular ripples of the sea breaking against a
sand-bank, and noticed that the influx of another current of water
may send a second system of waves at right angles to the first,
cutting athwart them, so that the two series of waves pass through
each other.
Woman is so sensitive and responsive an instrument, and so liable
in our modern civilised world to be influenced by innumerable sets
of stimuli, that it is perhaps scarcely surprising that the deep,
underlying waves of her primitive sex-tides have been obscured, and
entangled so that their regular sequence has been masked in the
choppy turmoil of her sea, and their existence has been largely
unsuspected, and apparently quite unstudied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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