Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
Your clear exposition of the rhythmic curve of sex-feeling and of
the misinterpretation on the part of so many husbands of what they
call their wives' contrariness, arising from their ignorance of its
existence, should bring happiness to many married couples whose
lives are drifting apart through want of knowledge. In the exercise
of my ministry I have repeatedly traced the beginnings of the rift
to this want of knowledge and consequently of sympathy.
So far we are in complete agreement, but our ways part when you
treat of birth control.
You write primarily as a scientist (though a very human scientist),
and so you are naturally mainly occupied with the facts and
conditions of what I may call our earth-life. I, on the other
hand, writing as a Catholic, regard our earth-life as essentially
and inseparably connected with an eternal existence which reaches
out beyond the grave. I look on this life as utterly meaningless
in itself, as a period which is simply and solely a means to an
end--Eternity--a period of which all the circumstances of pleasure
and pain can only be explained and rightly used in their relation to
this Eternity.
Let me take in illustration of my meaning the case you give of the
worn-out mother of twelve. The Catholic belief is that the loss
of health on her part for a few years of life and the diminished
vitality on the part of her later children would be a very small
price indeed to pay for an endless happiness on the part of all.
In our belief, then, the destruction of one spermatazoon is not
the question, but the deliberate prevention of an eternally
happy existence which, in the supposition, might arise from its
preservation. Holding, as we do, that the marriage-act is the
divinely ordained means by which man offers to God the opportunity
of creating an immortal being, we do not believe that he may make
use of this means and deliberately frustrate it of its end without
doing grave wrong.
You do me the honour of suggesting that I should write a foreword
to your book, but any foreword from me could obviously only derive
value from my position as a Catholic priest, and that position is in
opposition to this part of your work.
I cannot end without thanking you very sincerely for allowing me to
read your book. Apart from what, as a Catholic, I object to in it,
it contains so much most helpful matter that I feel sure it will
bring to many a happiness in married life now wanting through the
ignorance and the consequent want of sympathy which you so rightly
deplore.
Believe me, dear Dr. Stopes,
Yours very sincerely,
S. ST. JOHN, S.J., C.F.
I publish this letter with sincere thanks to Father St. John for his
permission to use it.--M. C. S.
Reply to Father St. John, S.J.
LEATHERHEAD, December 12, 1917.
DEAR FATHER ST. JOHN,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account