Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
What has always baffled men in the contemplation of sexual
love is the seeming inadequacy of its cause, the immense
discrepancy between the necessarily circumscribed regions of
mucous membrane which is the final goal of such love and the
sea of world-embracing emotions to which it seems the door, so
that, as Remy de Gourmont has said, "the mucous membranes, by an
ineffable mystery, enclose in their obscure folds all the riches
of the infinite." It is a mystery before which the thinker and
the artist are alike overcome.
To me, however, the recent discoveries of physiology seem to
afford a key which may unlock a chamber of the mystery and admit
us to one of the halls of the palace of truth. The hormones (see
page 61) in each individual body pour from one organ and affect
another, and thus influence the whole character of the individual's
life processes. The visible secretions and the most subtle essences
which pass during union between man and woman, affect the lives
of each and are essentially vital to each other. As I see them,
the man and the woman are each organs, parts, of the other. And
in the strictest scientific, as well as in a mystical, sense they
_together_ are a single unit, an individual entity. There is a
_physiological_ as well as a spiritual truth in the words "they
twain shall be one flesh."
In love it is not only that the yearning of the bonds of affinity
to be satisfied is met by the linking with another, but that out of
this union there grows a new and unprecedented creation.
In this I am not speaking of the bodily child which springs from
the love of its parents, but of the super-physical entity created
by the perfect union in love of man and woman. Together, united by
the love bonds which hold them, they are a new and wondrous thing
surpassing, and different from, the arithmetical sum of them both
when separate.
So seldom has the perfection of this new creation been experienced,
that we are still far short even of imagining its full potentialities,
but that it must have mighty powers we dimly realise.
Youths and maidens stirred by the attraction of love, feel
hauntingly and inarticulately that there is before them an immense
and beautiful experience: feel as though in union with the beloved
there will be added powers of every sort which have no measure in
terms of the ordinary unmated life.
These prophetic dreams, if they are not true of each individual
life, are yet true of the race as a whole. For in the dreams of
youth to-day is a foreshadowing of the reality of the future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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