Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
So accustomed have we recently become to accept one aspect
of organic evolution, that we tend to see in youth only a
recapitulation of our race's history. The well-worn phrase "Ontogeny
repeats Phylogeny" has helped to concentrate our attention on the
fact that the young in their development, in ourselves as in the
animals, go through many phases which resemble the stages through
which the whole race must have passed in the course of its evolution.
While this is true, there is another characteristic of youth: It is
prophetic!
The dreams of youth, which each young heart expects to see fulfilled
in its own life, seem so often to fade unfulfilled. But that is
because the wonderful powers of youth are not supplied with the
necessary tool--knowledge. And so potentialities, which could have
worked miracles, are allowed to atrophy and die.
But as humanity orients itself more truly, more and more will the
knowledge and experience of the whole race be placed at the disposal
of all youth on its entry into life.
Then that glorious upspringing of the racial ideal, which finds its
expression in each unspoiled generation of youth, will at last meet
with a store of knowledge sufficient for its needs, and will find
ready as a tool to its hand the accumulated and sifted wisdom of the
race.
Then youth will be spared the blunders and the pain and the
unconscious self-destruction that to-day leaves scarcely anyone
untouched.
In my own life, comparatively short and therefore lacking in
experience though it be, I have known both personally and
vicariously so much anguish that might have been prevented by
knowledge. This impels me not to wait till my experience and
researches are complete, and my life and vital interest are fading,
but to hand on at once those gleanings of wisdom I have already
accumulated which may help the race to understand itself. Hence I
conclude this little book, for, though incomplete, it contains some
of the vital things youth should be told.
In all life activities, house-building, hunting or any other, where
intellectual and oral tradition comes in, as it does with the human
race, "instinct" tends to die out. Thus the human mother is far
less able to manage her baby without instruction than is a cat her
kittens; although the human mother at her best has, in comparison
with the cat, an infinitude of duties toward, and influences over,
her child.
A similar truth holds in relation to marriage. The century-long
following of various "civilised" customs has not only deprived our
young people of most of the instinctive knowledge they might have
possessed, but has given rise to innumerable false and polluting
customs.
Though many write on the art of managing children, few have anything
to say about the art of marriage, save those who have some dogma,
often theological or subversive of natural law, to proclaim.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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