_Bem_: A word derived by using the first letters of the three words: Bug Eyed Monster. Bems are ghastly looking creatures in general. In science-fiction yarns written by Terrans, bems are natives of Mars. In science-fiction yarns written by Martians, bems are natives of Terra. _The pile_: The source from which power is derived to carry men to the stars. Optional on the more expensive space ships, at extra cost. _Atom blaster_: A gun carried by spacemen which will melt people down to a cinder. A .45 would do just as well, but then there's the Sullivan Act. _Orbit_: The path of any heavenly body. The bodies are held in these orbits by natural laws the Republicans are thinking of repealing. _Nova_: The explosive stage into which planets may pass. According to the finest scientific thinking, a planet will either nova, or it won't. _Galaxy_: A term used to confuse people who have always called it The Milky Way. _Sun spots_: Vast electrical storms on the sun which interfere with radio reception, said interference being advantageous during political campaigns. _Atomic cannons_: Things that go _zap_. _Audio screen_: Television without Milton Berle or wrestling. _Disintegrating ray_: Something you can't see that turns something you can see into something you can't see. _Geiger counter_: Something used to count Geigers. _Interstellar space_: Too much nothing at all, filled with rockets, flying saucers, advanced civilizations, and discarded copies of _Amazing Stories_. _Mars_: A candy bar. _Pluto_: A kind of water. _Ray guns_: Small things that go _zap_. _Time machine_: A machine that carries you back to yesterday and into next year. Also, an alarm clock. _Time warp_: The hole in time the time machine goes through to reach another time. A hole in nothing. _Terra_: Another name for Earth. It comes from _terra_ firma or something like that. _Hyperdrive_: The motor that is used to drive a space ship faster than the speed of light. Invented by science-fiction writers but not yet patented. _Ether_: The upper reaches of space and whatever fills them. Also, an anaesthetic. _Luna_: Another name for the Moon. Formerly a park in Coney Island. * * * * * End of Project Gutenberg's Mars Confidential, by Jack Lait and Lee Mortimer