Oh me! how merry I was at Home!--The Source of Cheerfulnesse seemed in me _then_, and why is it not _now_? Partly because alle that I was there taught to think right is here thought wrong; because much that I there thought harmlesse is here thought sinfulle; because I cannot get at anie of the Things that employed and interested me _there_, and because the Things within my Reach _here_ do not interest me. Then, 'tis no small Thing to be continuallie deemed ignorant and misinformed, and to have one's Errors continuallie covered, however handsomelie, even before Children. To say nothing of the Weight upon the Spiritts at firste, from Change of Ayre, and Diet, and Scene, and Loss of habituall Exercise and Companie and householde Cares. These petty Griefs try me sorelie; and when Cousin _Ralph_ came in unexpectedlie this Morn, tho' I never much cared for him at Home, yet the Sighte of _Rose's_ Brother, fresh from_ Sheepscote_ and _Oxford_ and _Forest Hill_, soe upset me that I sank into Tears. No wonder that Mr. _Milton_, then coming in, shoulde hastilie enquire if _Ralph_ had brought ill Tidings from Home; and, finding alle was well there, shoulde look strangelie. He askt _Ralph_, however, to stay to Dinner; and we had much Talk of Home; but now, I regret having omitted to ask a thousand Questions. _Sunday Even., Aug. 15, 1643_. Mr. _Milton_ in his Closet and I in my Chamber.--For the first Time he seems this Evening to have founde out how dissimilar are our Minds. Meaning to please him, I sayd, "I kept awake bravelie, tonighte, through that long, long Sermon, for your Sake." "And why not for _God's_ Sake?" cried he, "why not for your owne Sake?--Oh, sweet _Wife_, I fear you have yet much to learn of the Depth of Happinesse that is comprised in the Communion between a forgiven Soul and its Creator. It hallows the most secular as well as the most spirituall Employments; it gives Pleasure that has no after Bitternesse; it gives Pleasure to _God_--and oh! thinke of the Depth of Meaning in those Words! think what it is for us to be capable of giving _God_ Pleasure!" --Much more, in the same Vein! to which I could not, with equal Power, respond; soe, he away to his Studdy, to pray perhaps for my Change of Heart, and I to my Bed. _Saturday, Aug. 21, 1643_. Oh Heaven! can it be possible? am I agayn at _Forest Hill_? How strange, how joyfulle an Event, tho' brought about with Teares!--Can it be, that it is onlie a Month since I stoode at this Toilette as a Bride? and lay awake on that Bed, thinking of _London_? How long a Month! and oh! this present one will be alle too short. It seemeth that _Ralph Hewlett_, shocked at my Teares and the Alteration in my Looks, broughte back a dismall Report of me to deare _Father_ and _Mother_, pronouncing me either ill or unhappie. Thereupon, _Richard_, with his usuall Impetuositie, prevayled on _Father_ to let him and _Ralph_ fetch me Home for a While, at leaste till after _Michaelmasse_.