"Honest, you guys. I didn't know it was against the law. Aw, I figgered
it was against the rules mebbe to send in somebody else's answers, but
we wuz only makin' a joke, Oscar 'n' me. Oscar's the one who actual put
it in the mailbox and stole the stamp! I bet he's the one you're after!"
"Now calm down, Willy," the beefy policeman coaxed. "No one's broken any
law. Nobody's under arrest. We just want to chat a minute with whoever
it was filled out that test."
"Yeh, Willy," the second policeman broke in, "if you didn't do it, and I
believe you when you say you didn't, then who did?"
"What's it to ya?" Willy asked, his mouth twitching nervously.
The first policeman glanced at the second and then back at Willy. "Well,
it's like this, Willy," he said. "Whoever filled out those answers got
every one of them right. The people who run the contest want to meet
the guy, see? And they asked us to help find him because we know you
people better than anyone else does. See? That's all!"
"Yeh," said the second. "That's all. Now who did it?"
Willy stood with his jaw drooping for a moment. "You mean he got ever'
last one of 'em right?" he asked. "Freddy was always braggin' about his
brains, but me 'n' Oscar figgered he was makin' most of it up."
"Freddy who? Freddy the Fish you mean?"
"Yeh, Freddy." Willy perked up and turned toward Freddy's bench. "Hey,
Freddy! Hey, you know that test you took in the newspaper that you
didn't know I sent in? You won the contest or sumpin'! Hey, that's
great!"
* * * * *
Jones and Dwindle watched the draftees file into the examination room.
"I still don't see how this is going to solve the problem," Jones
frowned.
"I believe it will," Dwindle contradicted him. "Specialists in each of
the major fields have been consulted, and each provided fifty
questions."
"The hardest questions they could think up, I imagine."
"No, not at all. The purpose is to provide comprehensive coverage of
each field. And each question is of the type that, if the examinee knows
the answer, it can be reasonably assumed that he knows quite a bit in
that particular phase of the field. For instance, if he knows what
enzyme is associated with the stomach, he probably knows what enzyme is
associated with the liver."
"I know one big problem you're going to run into," Jones sulked. "Just
like the IBM cards. You're going to find one guy who clobbers the
Electronics part of the test but completely busts out in History and
everything else."
"I don't think so," Dwindle said. "The preliminary test will have taken
care of that. It was designed so that, in order to answer every question
right, a person would have to have at least a rudimentary knowledge of
all twenty-four major fields."
As Jones was considering whether it would be better to slit his own
throat or Dwindle's, General Marcher entered the room and approached.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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