Australia -- Fiction; Family life -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Mothers -- Fiction
"Tom," I protested sincerely, "I don't know any more than you do. But he
is a rude man; he stares at me and follows me, and I can't get rid of
him. Of course, he sees that I am----" I was going to say "unprotected,"
and hastily substituted "alone," which was not much better.
"Well, now, look here--I've got a ship, Mary"--he did not pain me with
further explanations on that head; later I wept to think of his
subservient position in that ship--"and this means an income, dear. Not
much, but perhaps enough----"
"Does it mean that you are going away?" I cried, terrified.
"Not far. Only for a few days at a time. I start on Friday. This is
Monday."
He took my hands; he looked into my eyes; I knew him so well that I knew
just what he was going to say. The colour poured into my face, but I
made no mock-modest pretence of being shy or shocked.
As a preliminary, he questioned me as if I were on trial for my life.
"Answer me _quite_ truthfully, Mary"--he called me Mary before we were
married, but always Polly afterwards--"tell me, on your solemn word of
honour, do you love me--beyond all possible doubt--beyond all chance of
changing or tiring, after it's too late?"
I told him that I loved him beyond doubt, beyond words, beyond
everything, and should do so, I was absolutely convinced, to my life's
end. I further declared that he knew it as well as I did, and was simply
wasting breath.
"And you really and truly do wish to marry me, Mary?"
I attempted to laugh at his tragic gravity and his awkward choice of
words. I said I didn't unless he did, that I wouldn't inconvenience him
or force his inclination for the world. I asked him, plainly, whether he
thought that quite the way to put it.
"Yes," he said. "For I want to make sure that I--that
circumstances--are not taking advantage of you while you are young and
helpless. And yet how can I be sure?"
He took my face between his hands and gazed at it, as if he would look
down through my eyes to the bottom of my soul. I shut them after a
moment, and tears began to ooze between the lids at the thought that he
could doubt me. One trickled out and splashed upon his knee, and my
heart began to heave with the impulse to cry in earnest. Then he drew my
face--drew me into his arms, and we sat a little without speaking,
hearing our hearts thump.
"We'll chance it, shall we?" he whispered between short breaths. "Sooner
or later it must come to that, and better as soon as possible if I have
to leave you in Melbourne alone. You won't be so much alone if you
belong to me, even when I am away--will you, sweetheart?"
I merely sighed--that kind of long, full, vibrating sigh which means
that your feelings are too deep for words.
"I think I shall be able to answer to your father--I hope so," he
continued, rallying his constant self-control. "I think I am justified,
Mary. If not----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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