Adventure stories, English; France -- History -- Consulate and First Empire, 1799-1815 -- Fiction; Soldiers of fortune -- Fiction
A long interval of stupor, a state of dreary half consciousness, now
came over me, from which I aroused myself with great difficulty to write
the few lines I destined for Colonel Mahon. I remember even now, long
as has been the space of years since that event, full as it has been of
stirring and strange incidents, I remember perfectly the thought which
flashed across me, as I sat, pen in hand, before the paper. It was the
notion of a certain resemblance between our actions in this world with
the characters I was about to inscribe upon that paper. Written in
darkness and in doubt, thought I, how shall they appear when brought to
the light! Perhaps those I have deemed the best and fairest shall seem
but to be the weakest or the worst! What need of kindness to forgive the
errors, and of patience to endure the ignorance! At last I began: ‘Mon
Colonel,--Forgive, I pray you, the errors of these lines, penned in the
darkness of my cell, and the night before my death. They are written
to thank you ere I go hence, and to tell you that the poor heart whose
beating will soon be still, throbbed gratefully towards you to the last!
I have been sentenced to death for a breach of discipline of which I was
guilty. Had I failed in the achievement of my enterprise by the bullet
of an enemy, they would have named me with honour; but I have had the
misfortune of success, and to-morrow am I to pay its penalty. I have the
satisfaction, however, of knowing that my share in that great day can
neither be denied nor evaded; it is already on record, and the time may
yet come when my memory will be vindicated. I know not if these lines
be legible, nor if I have crossed or recrossed them. If they are blotted
they are not my tears have done it, for I have a firm heart and a good
courage; and when the moment comes----’ Here my hand trembled so much,
and my brain grew so dizzy, that I lost the thread of my meaning,
and merely jotted down at random a few words, vague, unconnected, and
unintelligible, after which, and by an effort that cost all my strength,
I wrote ‘Maurice Tiernay, late Hussar of the 9th Regiment.’
A hearty burst of tears followed the conclusion of this letter; all the
pent-up emotion with which my heart was charged broke out at last, and
I cried bitterly. Intense passions are, happily, never of long duration,
and, better still, they are always the precursors of calm. Thus,
tranquil, the dawn of morn broke upon me, when the sergeant came to
take my letter, and apprise me that the adjutant would appear in a few
moments to read my sentence, and inform me when it was to be executed.
‘Thou’It bear up well, lad; I know thou wilt,’ said the poor fellow,
with tears in his eyes. ‘Thou hast no mother, and thou ‘lt not have to
grieve for her.’
‘Don’t be afraid, sergeant; I’ll not disgrace the old 9th. Tell my
comrades I said so.’
‘I will. I will tell them all! Is this thy jacket, lad?’
‘Yes; what do you want it for?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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