Maw's Vacation: The Story of a Human Being in the YellowstoneHough, Emerson
General
Maw's Vacation: The Story of a Human Being in the Yellowstone
Hough, Emerson
American wit and humor; Camping; Tourists; Yellowstone National Park
"But lookit here," she went on, "if you want to see people busy, come
down to our camp, some sundown. There ain't that many mosquitoes in all
Ioway, and they call this place a national playground. It ain't no such
place. And yet, when I go to the post office, store, or the
superintendent's office, or the head clerk's house, or the curio store
to get some mosquito dope to rub on myself, they ain't got no mosquito
dope; but for four dollars you can buy a lovely leather pillow with
'Mother' on it. What do I want with a leather pillow with 'Mother' on it
when mosquitoes are biting; or a picture of an Indian on one side of a
sheepskin; or bead bags; or moccasins that they say are made by the
Indians? What I want is mosquito dope and bread; something practical.
When you got a bite on your elbow you don't care a durn about a card
showing a picture of Artist Point, and I am as good a Presbyterian as
anybody. I say them stores ain't practical."
Quite often when I stroll down to interview Maw and her family at their
camp I am able to obtain free expression of opinion on current matters.
The other evening Paw was hammering at something which at first looked
like a piece of stone.
"It breaks right easy," said he. "I got this piece off the Angel Cake
Terrace. Having so many in the car I have to cut down the weight. But
what I and Maw want," he said, "is a pair of them elk horns. If I can
get a good pair I allow to paint them red and black, with gold round the
lower ends. Maw and me think they'd look right good in the parlor."
Old Stanley's Story
They have visitors now and then, Paw and Maw, at their camp. The local
old-timers seem to gravitate toward them. One evening I found old man
Stanley sitting on a log and talking to them in reminiscent mood about
himself, his deeds and his dentition.
"It looks to me like a fellow could work hard enough in three months to
last him the hull year," said old man Stanley. "Just last week the camp
folks wanted me to go to work for them. I told them I wouldn't work for
nobody but the Gover'ment, and only three months in the year at that.
But they persuaded me to go to work for night watchman. I said all
right, only I had to go down to Gardiner and get my teeth fixed. They
asked me why I didn't go to Livingston. I told them some of my friends
down to Gardiner had been pulling my teeth for me for six or eight
years, them having a good pair of forceps. Of course they break some,
but take it one way with the other, them uppers of mine get along right
well. So I goes down to them friends last week, and had some more teeth
pulled. They mostly get nearly all the pieces out. I've got four teeth
left now, and that's enough for anybody. I sort of wish they'd track a
little better; but still, four teeth is enough for any reasonable man."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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