May Fair : $b being an entertainment purporting to reveal to gentlefolk the real state of affairs existing in the very heart of London during the fifteenth and sixteenth years of the reign of His Majesty King George the Fifth: together with suitable reflections on the last follies, misadventures and galanteries of these charming peopleArlen, Michael
History
May Fair : $b being an entertainment purporting to reveal to gentlefolk the real state of affairs existing in the very heart of London during the fifteenth and sixteenth years of the reign of His Majesty King George the Fifth: together with suitable reflections on the last follies, misadventures and galanteries of these charming people
Arlen, Michael
Great Britain -- History -- George V, 1910-1936 -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
“Well, Jack’s method was just to slit ’em up with a razor, frontwise and
from south to north, and not a blessed word spoken. No one’s touched ’im
yet, not for efficiency, but this new chap, ’e looks like catching Jack
up. _And_ at Jack’s own game, razor and all. Makes a man fair sick, sir,
to see the completed work. Just slits ’em up as clean as you or me might
slit up a vealanam-pie. We was laying bets on ’im over at Vine Street
only to-night, curious like to see whether ’e’d beat Jack’s record. But
it’ll take some beating, I give you my word. Up to date this chap ’as
only done in twelve in three weeks--not that that’s ’alf bad, seeing as
how ’e’s new to the game, more or less.”
“Oh, rather, more or less!” said Mr. Trevor faintly. “Twelve! Good
God--only twelve! But why--why don’t you catch the ghastly man?”
“Ho, why don’t we!” said the policeman. “Becos we don’t know ’ow, that’s
why. Not us! It’s the little one-corpse men we’re good for, not these
’ere big artists. Look at Jack the Ripper--did we catch ’im? Did we? And
look at Julian Raphael--did we catch ’im? I’m asking you.”
“I know you are,” said Mr. Trevor gratefully. “Thank you.”
“I don’t want your thanks,” said the policeman. “I’m just warning you.”
Mr. Trevor gasped: “Warning _me_!”
“You’ve said it,” said the policeman. “You don’t ought to be out alone
at this time of night, an ’earty young chap like you. These twelve ’e’s
already done in were all ’earty young chaps. ’E’s partial to ’em
’earty, I do believe. And social gents some of ’em was, too, with
top-’ats to hand, just like you might be now, sir, coming ’ome from a
smoking-concert. Jack the Ripper all over again, that’s wot I say.
Except that this ’ere new corpse-fancier, ’e don’t seem to fancy women
at all.”
“A chaps’ murderer, what!” said Mr. Trevor faintly. “Ha-ha! What?”
“You’ve said it,” said the policeman. “But you never know your luck,
sir. And maybe as ’ow thirteen’s your lucky number.”
Mr. Trevor lays emphasis on the fact that throughout he treated the
constable with the courtesy due from a gentleman to the law. He merely
said: “Constable, I am now going home. I do not like you very much. You
are an alarmist. And I hope that when you go to sleep to-night your ears
swell so that when you wake up in the morning you will be able to fly
straight to heaven and never be seen or heard of again. You and your
razors and your thirteens!”
“Ho, they ain’t mine, far from it!” said the policeman, and even as he
spoke a voice crashed upon the silence from the direction of Mount
Street. The voice belonged to a tall figure in black and white, and on
his head was a top-hat that shone under the pallid moon like a monstrous
black jewel.
“That there,” said the policeman, “is a Noise.”
“He’s singing,” said Mr. Trevor.
“I’ll teach ’im singing!” said the policeman.
Sang the voice:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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