Having reported yourself to the man of three stripes, you must not expect that he will shake hands, or embrace you, ask you on shore to tea, and introduce you to his wife. No, if he is good-natured, and has not had a difference of opinion with the captain lately, he _may_ condescend to show you your cabin and introduce you to your messmates; but if he is out of temper, he will merely ask your name, and, on your telling him, remark, "Humph!" then call the most minute midshipman to conduct you to your cabin, being at the same time almost certain to mispronounce your name. Say your name is Struthers, he will call you Stutters. "Here, Mr Pigmy, conduct Mr Stutters to his cabin, and show him where the gunroom--ah! I beg his pardon, the wardroom--lies." "Ay, ay, sir," says the middy, and skips off at a round trot, obliging you either to adopt the same ungraceful mode of progression, or lose sight of him altogether, and have to wander about, feeling very much from home, until some officer passing takes pity on you and leads you to the wardroom. CHAPTER FIVE. HASLAR HOSPITAL. THE MEDICAL MESS. DR GRUFF. It is a way they have in the service, or rather it is the custom of the present Director-General, not to appoint the newly-entered medical officer at once to a sea-going ship, but instead to one or other of the naval hospitals for a few weeks or even months, in order that he may be put up to the ropes, as the saying is, or duly initiated into the mysteries of service and routine of duty. This is certainly a good idea, although it is a question whether it would not be better to adopt the plan they have at Netley, and thus put the navy and army on the same footing. Haslar Hospital at Portsmouth is a great rambling barrack-looking block of brick building, with a yard or square surrounded by high walls in front, and with two wings extending from behind, which, with the chapel between, form another and smaller square. There are seldom fewer than a thousand patients within, and, independent of a whole regiment of male and female nurses, sick-bay-men, servants, cooks, _et id genus omne_, there is a regular staff of officers, consisting of a captain--of what use I have yet to learn--two medical inspector-generals, generally three or four surgeons, the same number of regularly appointed assistant-surgeons, besides from ten to twenty acting assistant-surgeons [Note 1] waiting for appointments, and doing duty as supernumeraries. Of this last class I myself was a member.