"Hem! ahem!" and presently added, "it is only _me_." Then the door was pushed slightly open, while pressing one foot doubtfully against it I peeped out, and to my surprise perceived the half of a little yellow book and the whole of a little yellow face with whiskers at it, and an expression so very like that of a one-year-old lady cat, that I remained for a little in momentary expectation of hearing it purr. But it didn't, merely smiling and repeating,-- "It's only me." "So I see," said I, quite taken aback as it were. "So I see." Then "_Me_," slowly and gently overcame the resistance my right foot offered, and, pushing open the door, held out the yellow tract, which I took to be of a spiritual nature, and spoke to "I" as follows:-- "We--that is, he! he! my father and me, he! he! you see--had heard of your going up to join the Navy." At that moment it seemed to "I" the easiest thing in the world, short of spending money, to "join" the Royal Navy. "And so," continued "_Me_", "you see, he! he! we thought of making you a call, all in business, you see, he! he! and offering you our estimate for your uniform." Uniform! grand name to my ear, I who had never worn anything more gay than a homespun coat of houden-grey and a Gordon tartan kilt. I thought it was my turn to say, "Hem! hem!" and even add an inaudible "Ho! ho!" for I felt myself expanding inch by inch like a kidney bean. "In that little book," _Me_ went on, "there,"--pointing to the front page--"you will find the names of one hundred and fifty-seven officers and gentlemen who have honoured us with their custom." Then I exclaimed, "Dear me!" and Me added with animation, "You see: he! he!" Was it any wonder then, that I succumbed to such a flood of temptation, that even my native canniness disappeared or was swept away, and that I promised this gentleman of feline address that if I passed I would assuredly make his father a call? Alas! unfortunate greenhorn that I was, I found out when too late that some on the list had certainly given him their custom, and like myself repented only once but for ever; while the custom of the majority was confined to a pair or two of duck inexpressibles, a uniform cap, a dozen of buttons, or a hank of sewing silk. "We can proudly refer you," Me continued, as I bowed him to the door, "to any of them, and if you do us the honour of calling you will be enabled to judge for yourself; but," added he, in a stage whisper, at the same time making a determined attempt, as I thought, to bite off my ear, "be aware of the Jews." "What," said I, "is your father not then a Jew? the name I thought--"