Medicina Flagellata; Or, The Doctor Scarify'dAnonymous
Science
Medicina Flagellata; Or, The Doctor Scarify'd
Anonymous
Hygiene; Medicine -- Practice -- Early works to 1800; Plague -- Early works to 1800; Quacks and quackery
Examination, you are rather worse than better, by Reason those Plaisters
caused a melting of the gross Humours about the Bowels, and dissolved them
into Winds and Vapours, which fuming to the Head, occasion a great
Head-ach, Dulness and Drowsiness, and Part of 'em being dispersed through
the Guts and Belly, discompose you with a Cholick, a Swelling of your
Belly, and an universal Pain or Lassitude over all your Limbs. Thus you
see one Day makes Work for another; however, he hath the Wit to assure
you, they are Signs of the Operations of Yesterday's Means, beginning to
move and dissolve the Humours; which successful Work is to be promoted by
a Cordial Apozem, the Repetition of a carminative Clyster, another Cordial
to take by Spoonfuls, and because your Sleep has been interrupted by the
Unquietness of swelling Humours, he will endeavour to procure you for this
next Night a Truce with your Disease, by an Hypnotick Potion that shall
occasion Rest: Neither will he give you any other Cause than to imagine
him a most careful Man, and so circumspect, that scarce a Symptom shall
pass his particular Regard; and therefore to remove your Head-ach by
retracting the Humours, or rather, as you are like to discern best, by
attracting Humours and Vapours, he will order his young Mercury to apply a
Vesicatory to the Nape of your Neck, and with a warm Hand to besmear your
Belly and all your Joints with a good comfortable Ointment for to appease
your Pains: The Cordial Apozem is a Decoction that shall derive its Virtue
from two or three unsavoury Roots, and as many Herbs and Seeds, with a
little Syrup of July-Flowers, for three or four Times taking; which
because you shall not undervalue by having it brought to you all in one
Glass, you shall have it sent you in so many Vials and Draughts, and for
every one of them shall be placed Three Shillings to your own Account,
which is five Parts more than the Whole stands him in; for the Cordial
Potion as much; for the Hypnotick Potion the same Price; for your
Carminative Clyster no less; and for the Epispastick Plaister a Shilling:
Thus with the Increase of your Disease you may perceive the Increase of
your Bill; and therefore it's no improper Observation, That the
Apothecaries Practice follow the Course of the Moon. The third Day
produces an Addition of new Symptoms, and an Augmentation of the old ones;
the Patient stands in need of new Comfort from his Apothecary, who tells
him, that Nature begins now to work more strong, and therefore all Things
go well (and never ill;) but because Nature requires all possible
Assistance from Cordials and small Evacuations, he must expect to have the
same Cordials over again, but with the Addition of greater Ingredients, it
may be Magistery of Pearl, or Oriental Bezoar in Powder, besides the
Repetition of a Clyster, and the renewing of your Plaisters, for the
Profit of your Physician, you must be persuaded to accept of a comfortable
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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