Thus many outward circumstances transpired, and some years passed over, with my only viewing the matter at a distance, until He who first laid the concern upon me was pleased to bring it more clearly home to me, and seemed at times to engage his servants, both in public and private, to speak very clearly to my condition. And although I had a concurring testimony in my own mind to their declarations, yet I had always an excuse to flee unto by secretly saying, It may be intended for some one else; until the Most High was graciously pleased, by the services of his sincere handmaids, Sarah Lamley and Ann Fairbank, in their family visits to Friends of Barnsley, as mentioned last Fifth Month, to speak so clearly to my situation in their private opportunity with us, as to leave no room for excuse; but I was forced to acknowledge, Thou art the man. Indeed, Sarah Lamley was led in such an extraordinary manner, that I had no doubt at all but that she was favored with a clear and fall sense of my state. She began by enumerating the many fears which attended the apostles in their various situations; how that Satan had desired to have some of them that he might sift them as wheat in a sieve; "but," added she, "I have prayed for thee, Peter, that thy faith fail not, and when thou art converted strengthen thy brethren." And how it was with Moses when the Almighty appeared to him in a flame of fire in the bush, and that it was not until the Most High had condescended to answer all Moses' excuses that he was angry with him, and even then he condescended to let him have Aaron, his brother, to go with him for a spokesman. Also how it was with Peter when the threefold charge was given him to feed the lambs and the sheep. "It is not enough," said she, "to acknowledge that we love the Lord, but there must be a manifesting of our love by doing whatsoever he may command." Methinks I still hear her voice, saying, "And O that there may not be a pleading of excuses, Moses-like!" Thus was this valuable servant enabled to speak to my comfort and encouragement, which I trust I shall ever remember to advantage; but O that I may be resigned to wait the appointed time in watchful humility, patience, and fear! for I find there is a danger of seeking too much after outward confirmations, and not having the attention sufficiently fixed on the great Minister of ministers, who alone is both able and willing to direct the poor mind in this most important concern, and in his own time to say, "Arise, shine; for thy light is come."