Memoir of Mary L. Ware, Wife of Henry Ware, Jr.Hall, Edward B. (Edward Brooks)
Religion
Memoir of Mary L. Ware, Wife of Henry Ware, Jr.
Hall, Edward B. (Edward Brooks)
Unitarians -- United States -- Biography; Ware, Mary L. (Mary Lovell), 1798-1849
support of religion, is imperfectly gained by us.
"I have not time to write more. I doubt if I have explained
myself intelligibly, but more of this at some future period. I
presume there is an appearance of vanity in one paragraph,
which I will some time explain.
"MARY."
This fervid religious interest and enjoyment seems to have filled her
heart, and absorbed her thoughts, more and more, until, in the following
summer, it led to a personal interview with Dr. Channing, of the most
interesting kind, to be described only in her own words.
"_Boston, July 10, 1817._
"There is a certain state of feeling, or I may now say passion,
in which the heart must either find relief in utterance, or
burst; when all the powers of mind and body are suspended, and
thought, feeling, sensation, are all centred in one sole
object. It is at such moments as these that we feel the true
value of a friend who will submit patiently to our detail, and
sympathize in all. I have just had a long--(I do not know what
to call it)--with our dear minister. You know how long I have
wished, yet dreaded it. That I should ever have _dreaded_ it
appears now a most astonishing fact, except that I knew it
would humble me to the dust. And why should I not be so
humbled?
"It chanced that grandma was too unwell to see him; and I,
though not in the most composed state of mind that can be
imagined, was to sit down alone with him, fully determined to
improve the opportunity and say all that I had so long wished.
I put on as collected an appearance as could possibly be
required, and, trembling at the very centre of my heart, met
him with a smile of joy. Indifferent subjects soon entirely
subdued all kind of internal embarrassment, (external, I did
not permit,) when, to my great annoyance, C---- walked in! O
that I could have rendered him invisible,--deaf, dumb,--any
thing, for the time being! But patience triumphed; I contrived
at last to let him understand that I wished him far away. He
took the hint, but when he rose to go, Mr. Channing did so
also! I could not but detain him. How I did it, or what
followed on my part, I know not; I heard all he said, I laid
every word carefully aside in my mind to be enjoyed at some
future period, but how foolish, how weak, how every thing
irrational _I_ was, I cannot, dare not, think. I told him as
well as I could, with what views and feelings I presumed to
deviate from the path in which I had been led by my parents,
what he had done for me, and what I hoped to do for myself. I
could not have been intelligible, but I will not regret that I
attempted, though I could not succeed. I am relieved by what he
said of many unpleasant, oppressive feelings. I felt that I was
detaining him, or I might have been rather more collected. What
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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