Memoirs and resolutions of Adam Graeme of Mossgray, including some chronicles of the borough of FendieOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
History
Memoirs and resolutions of Adam Graeme of Mossgray, including some chronicles of the borough of Fendie
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Bildungsromans; Scotland -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction; Youth -- Scotland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Ye can bide till I come down,” I heard Mrs Mense say, as she shut the
door, “and I’ll ask the laird, since ye will hae’t; but ye’ll stay where
ye are till I come back again.”
In a minute or two after she appeared at the door of my study; her ruddy
face was paled by emotion, and her eyes turned upon me with a painful
solicitous look that smote me to the heart.
“What is the matter?” I asked as calmly as I could, “and why do you not
bring that man up to me at once, Nancy, instead of keeping him so long
at the door?”
Again she looked at me--a conscious, terrified look, which I trembled to
interpret.
“Oh, Mossgray! for the Lord’s sake tak tent o’ yoursel! you’re an
innocent lad--ye aye were an innocent lad--ye kenna what ill may be
brewing. I saw ane that saw Mr Charlie in the toun yestreen--oh, Mr
Adam, dinna look sae fearsome!--and if ye canna meet this man--if ye’ve
ony fear--just say the word, and I’ll send him away.”
I felt large drops of moisture burst upon my brow; I shuddered through
my whole frame; I felt an irresistible inclination to flee away, and
escape from all these miseries for ever. I had indeed awakened from my
frenzy of grief--and such an awakening!
“Why should I fear to see him?” I asked, the words refusing to come
plainly from my stammering tongue. “What is this? Do you think--do you
think I am mad?”
She did not answer; but with tears streaming from her eyes she continued
to fix that painful, terrified, conscious look upon my face.
I felt my nostril dilate--I felt some bitter scorching tears flood my
eyes. Then I became suddenly calm.
“God help me!” I exclaimed in my agony, and my prayer was heard.
I grew calm in a sudden consciousness of restored strength. I thought
steadily of Lucy and her warning; of this humble woman here, whose
honest heart sorrowed and laboured for me. I was roused--I put my wrongs
forth, out of my heart, and committed myself to God.
“Now,” I said, “let him come up.”
My kind housekeeper withdrew, wiping the tears from her cheeks. I saw
she had acquired some sort of trembling confidence from my bearing; then
I did what I could to make my appearance less conspicuously negligent,
and then with a nervous concentrated quietness, I waited for my visitor.
He looked me very steadily in the face, with a singular emphatic look. I
did not think at the time what was the meaning of this, or it might have
raised a ferment in my veins, and made me appear as they wished me. As
it was, I saluted him calmly, gliding at once into my usual manner, and
feeling with a consciousness of unspeakable relief, that I was myself
again.
“I have been residing in the neighbourhood for a week or two, Mr
Graeme,” said my visitor, after introducing himself as Doctor Pulvers of
Edinburgh, “and hearing that you were in delicate health, I took the
liberty of volunteering a call; that is to say--for I am taking too much
credit to myself--some of your friends begged me to do so, expressing
themselves very anxious about you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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