Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
The winter came on severe and cold. Mrs Harley was forbidden to expose
herself to the frosty air, which seemed to invigorate my languid frame.
I was constituted her almoner, to distribute to the neighbouring poor
the scanty portion, which she was enabled, by a rigid oeconomy, to spare
from her little income: yet the value of this distribution had been
more than redoubled, by the gentler charities of kind accents, tender
sympathy, and wholesome counsels. To these indigent, but industrious,
cottagers, I studied to be the worthy representative of their amiable
benefactress, and found my reward in their grateful attachment, and the
approving smiles of my friend.
By degrees, she ventured to converse with me on the subject nearest her
heart--the situation of her son. He had been obliged to yield to the
proofs produced of his marriage, which he had, at first, seemed desirous
of evading. He had written, with reserve, upon the subject to his
mother; but, from the enquiries of a common friend, she had reason to
apprehend, that his engagement had been of an imprudent nature. Two
children, were, already the fruits of it: the mother, with a feminine
helplessness of character, had a feeble constitution. The small fortune,
which Augustus had originally shared with his family, was greatly
reduced. His education and habits had unfitted him for those exertions
which the support of an encreasing family necessarily required:--his
spirits (her friend had informed her) seemed broken, and his temper
soured. Some efforts had been made to serve him, which his lofty spirit
had repelled with disdain.
This narration deeply affected my heart--I had resigned myself to his
loss--but the idea of his suffering, I felt, was an evil infinitely
severer. It was this conviction that preyed incessantly on the peace
and health of his mother. My fortitude failed, when I would have tried
to sustain her; and I could only afford the melancholy satisfaction of
mingling my sorrows with her's.
The disorder of my friend rapidly increased--her mind became weakened,
and her feelings wayward and irritable. I watched her incessantly--I
strove, by every alleviating care, to soften her pains. Towards the
approach of spring the symptoms grew more threatening; and it was judged,
by her physician, necessary to apprize her family of her immediate
danger. What a trial for my exhausted heart! I traced, with a trembling
hand, a line to this melancholy purpose--addressed it to Mr Harley, and
through him to his younger brothers and sisters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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