Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
The house of my deceased friend was sold, and the effects disposed of.
On the day previous to their removal, and the departure of the family
for London, I stole into the library, at the close of the evening, to
view, for _the last time_, the scene of so many delightful, so many
afflicting emotions. A mysterious and sacred enchantment is spread over
every circumstance, even every inanimate object, connected with the
affections. To those who are strangers to these delicate, yet powerful
sympathies, this may appear ridiculous--but the sensations are not the
less genuine, nor the less in nature. I will not attempt to analyse
them, it is a subject upon which the language of philosophy would
appear frigid, and on which I feel myself every moment on the verge of
fanaticism. Yet, affections like these are not so much weakness, as
strength perhaps badly exerted. Rousseau was, right, when he asserted,
that, 'Common men know nothing of violent sorrows, nor do great passions
ever break out in weak minds. Energy of sentiment is the characteristic
of a noble soul.'
I gazed from the windows on the shrubbery, where I had so often wandered
with my friends--where I had fondly cherished so many flattering, so
many visionary, prospects. Every spot, every tree, was associated with
some past pleasure, some tender recollection. The last rays of the
setting sun, struggling from beneath a louring cloud, streamed through
its dark bosom, illumined its edges, played on the window in which I was
standing, and gilding the opposite side of the wainscot, against which
the picture of Augustus still hung, shed a soft and mellow lustre over
the features. I turned almost unconsciously, and contemplated it with a
long and deep regard. It seemed to smile benignly--it wore no traces of
the cold austerity, the gloomy and inflexible reserve, which now clouded
the aspect of the original. I called to my remembrance a thousand
interesting conversations--when
'Tuned to happy unison of soul, a fairer world of which the
vulgar never had a glimpse, displayed, its charms.'
Absorbed in thought, the crimson reflection from the western clouds
gradually faded, while the deep shades of the evening, thickened by the
appearance of a gathering tempest, involved in obscurity the object on
which, without distinctly perceiving it, I still continued to gaze.
I was roused from this reverie by the sudden opening of the door. Some
person, whom the uncertain light prevented me from distinguishing,
walked across the room, with a slow and solemn pace, and, after taking
several turns backwards and forwards, reclined on the sopha, remaining
for some time perfectly still. A tremor shook my nerves--unable either
to speak, or to move, I continued silent and trembling--my heart felt
oppressed, almost to suffocation--at length, a deep, convulsive sigh,
forced its way.
'My God!' exclaimed the person, whose meditations I had interrupted,
'what is that?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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