Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Mr Morton, at my request, withdrew with me into the library, where I
quickly removed from his mind those injurious suspicions with which Mrs
Morton had laboured to inspire him. He would not hear of my removal from
the Park--apologized for what had passed--assured me of his friendship
and protection--and entreated me to consider his house as my home. There
was an honest warmth and sincerity in his manner, that sensibly affected
me; I could have wept; and I engaged, at his repeated request, not to
think, at present, of withdrawing myself from his protection. Thus we
separated.
How were the virtues of this really good man tarnished by an unsuitable
connection! In the giddy hours of youth, we thoughtlessly rush into
engagements, that fetter our minds, and affect our future characters,
without reflecting on the important consequences of our conduct. This is
a subject on which I have had occasion to reflect deeply; yet, alas! my
own boasted reason has been, but too often, the dupe of my imagination.
CHAPTER XV
Nothing, here, occupied my heart--a heart to which it was necessary to
love and admire. I had suffered myself to be irritated--the tumult of my
spirits did not easily subside--I was mortified at the reflection--I had
believed myself armed with patience and fortitude, but my philosophy was
swept before the impetuous emotions of my passions like chaff before the
whirlwind. I took up my pen to calm my spirits, and addressed myself to
the man who had been, unconsciously, the occasion of these vexations.--My
swelling heart needed the relief of communication.
TO MR FRANCIS
'I Sought earnestly for the privilege of addressing you on
paper. My mind seemed to overflow with a thousand
sentiments, that I had not the courage to express in words;
but now, when the period is arrived, that I can take up my
pen, unawed by your penetrating glance, unchecked by your
poignant reply, and pour out my spirit before you, I feel
as if its emotions were too wayward, too visionary, too
contradictory, to merit your attention.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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