Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
I began, at length, to think, that I had been too precipitate, and
too severe to myself.--Why was I to sacrifice a friend, from whose
conversation I had derived improvement and pleasure? I repeated this
question to myself, again and again; and I blushed and repented. But
I deceived myself. I had too frequently acted with precipitation, I
determined, now, to be more prudent--I waited three months, fortified
my mind with many reflections, and resumed my pen--
TO AUGUSTUS HARLEY.
'Near three months have elapsed, since I last addressed you.
I remind you of this, not merely to suppress, as it arises,
any apprehension which you may entertain of further
embarrassment or importunity: for I can no longer afflict
myself with the idea, that my peace, or welfare, are
indifferent to you, but will rather adopt the sentiment of
Plato--who on being informed, that one of his disciples,
whom he had more particularly distinguished, had spoken ill
of him, replied, to the slanderer--"I do not believe you,
for it is impossible that I should not be esteemed by one
whom I so sincerely regard."
'My motive, for calling to your remembrance the date of my
last, is, that you should consider what I am now about to
say, as the result of calmer reflection, the decision of
judgment after having allowed the passions leisure to
subside. It is, perhaps, unnecessary to premise, that I am
not urged on by pride, from an obscure consciousness of
having been betrayed into indiscretion, to endeavour to
explain away, or to extenuate, any part of my former
expressions or conduct. To a mind like yours, such an
attempt would be impertinent; from one like mine, I hope,
superfluous. I am not ashamed of being a human being, nor
blush to own myself liable to "the shakes and agues of his
fragile nature." I have ever spoken, and acted, from the
genuine dictates of a mind swayed, at the time, by its own
views and propensities, nor have I hesitated, as those
views and propensities have changed, to avow my further
convictions--"Let not the coldly wise exult, that their
heads were never led astray by their hearts." I have all
along used, and shall continue to use, the unequivocal
language of sincerity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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