Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
assurance took the place of doubt. The last, every day would
contribute to correct. Permit me, then, _to hope for_, as
well as to seek your affections, and if I do not, at length,
gain and secure them, it will be a phenomenon in the history
of mind!
'But to proceed to my third supposition--The peculiar,
pecuniary, embarrassments of your situation--Good God!
did this barbarous, insidious, relation, allow himself
to consider the pernicious consequences of his absurd
bequest?--threatening to undermine every manly principle, to
blast every social virtue? Oh! that I had the eloquence to
rouse you from this tame and unworthy acquiescence--to
stimulate you to exercise your talents, to trust to the
independent energies of your mind, to exert yourself to
procure the honest rewards of virtuous industry. In
proportion as we lean for support on foreign aid, we lose
the dignity of our nature, and palsey those powers which
constitute that nature's worth. Yet, I will allow, from my
knowledge of your habits and associations, this obstacle its
full force. But there remains one method of obviating, even
this! I will frankly confess, that could I hope to gain
the interest in your heart, which I have so long and
so earnestly sought--my confidence in your honour and
integrity, my tenderness for you, added to the wish of
contributing to your happiness, would effect, what no lesser
considerations could have effected--would triumph, not over
my principles, (_for the individuality of an affection
constitutes its chastity_) but over my prudence. I repeat, I
am willing to sacrifice every inferior consideration--retain
your legacy, so capriciously bequeathed--retain your present
situation, and I will retain mine. This proposition, though
not a violation of modesty, certainly involves in it very
serious hazards--_It is, wholly, the triumph of affection!_
You cannot suppose, that a transient engagement would
satisfy a mind like mine; I should require a reciprocal
faith plighted and returned--an after separation, otherwise
than by mutual consent, would be my destruction--I should
not survive your desertion. My existence, then, would be in
your hands. Yet, having once confided, your affection should
be my recompence--my sacrifice should be a cheerful and a
voluntary one; I would determine not to harrass you with
doubts nor jealousies, I would neither reflect upon the
past, nor distrust the future: I would rest upon you, I
would confide in you fearlessly and entirely! but, though I
would not enquire after the past, my delicacy would require
the assurance of your present, undivided, affection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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