Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
'The fourth idea that has occurred to me, is the probability
of your having formed a plan of seeking some agreeable woman
of fortune, who should be willing to reward a man of merit
for the injustice of society. Whether you may already have
experienced some disappointments of this nature, I will not
pretend to determine. I can conceive, that, by many women,
a coxcomb might be preferred to you--however this may be,
the plan is not unattended with risque, nor with some
possible degrading circumstances--and you may succeed, and
yet be miserable: happiness depends not upon the abundance
of our possessions.
'The last case which I shall state, and on which I shall
lay little comparative stress, is the possibility of an
engagement of a very inferior nature--a mere affair of the
senses. The arguments which might here be adduced are too
obvious to be repeated. Besides, I think highly of your
refinement and delicacy--Having therefore just hinted, I
leave it with you.
'And now to conclude--After considering all I have urged,
you may, perhaps, reply--That the subject is too nice and
too subtle for reasoning, and that the heart is not to
be compelled. These, I think, are mistakes. There is no
subject, in fact, that may not be subjected to the laws
of investigation and reasoning. What is it that we
desire--_pleasure_--_happiness_? I allow, pleasure is the
supreme good: but it may be analyzed--it must have a stable
foundation--to this analysis I now call you! This is
the critical moment, upon which hangs a long chain of
events--This moment may decide your future destiny and
mine--it may, even, affect that of unborn myriads! My spirit
is pervaded with these important ideas--my heart flutters--I
breathe with difficulty--_My friend_--_I would give myself
to you_--the gift is not worthless. Pause a moment, ere you
rudely throw from you an affection so tried, so respectable,
so worthy of you! The heart may be compelled--compelled
by the touching sympathies which bind, with sacred,
indissoluble ties, mind to mind! Do not prepare for yourself
future remorse--when lost, you may recollect my worth, and
my affection, and remember them with regret--Yet mistake me
not, I have no intention to intimidate--I think it my duty
to live, while I may possibly be useful to others, however
bitter and oppressive may be that existence. I will live
_for duty_, though peace and enjoyment should be for ever
fled. You may rob me of my happiness, you may rob me of my
strength, but, even, you cannot destroy my principles. And,
if no other motive with-held me from rash determinations, my
tenderness for you (it is not a selfish tenderness), would
prevent me from adding, to the anxieties I have already
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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