Memoirs of Miss Sidney Biddulph: Extracted from her own Journal, and now first publishedSheridan, Frances Chamberlaine
General
Memoirs of Miss Sidney Biddulph: Extracted from her own Journal, and now first published
Sheridan, Frances Chamberlaine
English fiction -- 18th century
'Miss Burchell may triumph, Madam, since she has obtained _you_
for her advocate. Well have you acquitted yourself of the task
your rigid heart has undertaken. I thank the lady for the justice
her charming ingenuousness (as you rightly call it) has done me.
But what have I gained by this? Have I not raised the fair
complainant still higher in your esteem, given her a stronger
claim to your pity, and furnished you with arms against myself?
Wretch that I am, I do, I must acknowlege the force of every thing
that you have urged. Miss Burchell is amiable, her sincerity, her
constancy, and (by me) unmerited love, deserve to be greatly
recompensed. I would to heaven I had a heart to give her! but I
have not; _you_ know I have not; _she_ knows it too. Could I have
made Miss Burchell the return she deserves, I would not thus long
have shunned her presence. I acknowleged the state of my heart to
her even at the time I had lost all hopes of possessing you. And
in the spite of my own struggles, after years of confirmed
despair, I found myself still enslaved. How then could I offer a
hand, devoted as my whole soul was to another object, to a lady,
whose constant, tender, and delicate affection, demanded all the
return that a sensible and grateful heart could make? This, Madam,
is all the plea I can urge in answer to those arguments you offer
to promote your favourite wish. Consult your own delicacy, let
Miss Burchell consult hers, and then perhaps I shall stand
acquitted of ingratitude.
'I hoped, Madam, that cleared as I have been of _one_ imputation,
I might have recovered some favour in yours and Lady Bidulph's
thoughts. I was flattered with this consolation, small as it was,
when every other hope forsook me. But when an unexpected event
again brought happiness within my prospect, this reflection, I own
became of more importance, and served to strengthen my then
revived hopes. But you dash them with an unrelenting hand; and
again build up those barriers between us, that heaven itself had
overthrown. What can I say to you, inflexible as you are? has Miss
Burchell _all_ your pity? You may command my life, Madam; I would
lay it down freely for you; but I cannot, must not, will not give
up my love; and till you declare in express terms that I _must_ be
miserable, I will not even give up my hope.
ORLANDO FAULKLAND.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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