“June 8th, 1806. On a review of this week, I feel much cause for humiliation, and much for praise; for humiliation, that I gather no more boldness in the cause of God and of his Son. Yet, I am thankful that my silent refusal to conform to the vanities around me is not unobserved; and that a sneer about saintship is not unfrequently indulged in, when I am present. I rejoice in these tokens of my separation from the temper and practices of the world; yet I would look to more certain evidence of my love to Jesus than this, even in the devotedness of my heart to His service and glory; and in the love I feel for perishing souls around me. Alas, my evidences are very few: yet I think I would rather be a door-keeper in the house of God where I might see His face, than live in the richest palace on earth; and to be instrumental in turning sinners ‘from the power of Satan unto God,’ is more desired by me than to be Emperor of the world. These are my sentiments and desires: O Lord, let them not evaporate in empty speculations for Jesus Christ’s sake! “Thursday night. I would record to the honour of Divine grace, the goodness of God to my soul. Rose this morning at half-past five, found much earnestness in prayer, and my mind much disposed to that duty, but little if any sensible comfort. Prayed particularly for a believing, waiting spirit, which has been graciously vouchsafed. I have observed two or three instances of answers to prayer, in the waiting frame of my mind; in the attention I have been able to give to study, and in some other particulars. Lord, keep me humble and thankful for Jesus Christ’s sake, Amen! “June 29th. I have neglected to make memoranda of my state. Abstained from dinner, with a view to afflict my soul before God, on account of my own sins, and the sins of those around me. O Lord, without thy divine influence I fast and pray in vain. The sins in myself I would particularly note are, a backwardness to think on divine subjects; a general deadness in religious duties; a coldness of affection towards the Lord Jesus Christ; a want of zeal for God, and of love for souls; and a fear of censure and reproach, which leads me to suffer sin on my neighbour unreproved. With respect to those around me, their profane swearing, their neglect of God and His worship. O will not God be avenged on such a people as this? Will not this floating city be sunk in the mighty waters, for the wickedness of its inhabitants? O Lord, let my cry come before Thee, in behalf of this ship’s company, through the mediation of Jesus Christ!